Darkness

One of my old dark poem. I wrote this one because one of my ex girlfriend was being mean to me.

I am in the chamber of darkness
The demons torture me with sadness
I see nothing but tears going down my face
They're taking me a way from this earth with out a trace
Everyday I feel nothing but insufferable pain
Even though its not the same
They came to take me a way
In this darkness I should stay

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

The work it takes to come up with a new way to inflict pain...day after day. Thats what gave me chills. This one was quite jarring.

[Ice QueenJen]

Sad and creepy, especially the second line " The demons torture me with sadness"; you'd think they would be happy to be torturing a person. Great writing about the loss of someone being hateful to another.

[Loner]

Beautifully portrayed ..... shows your anger and frustration to break free.

[Senseless whatever]

Good write. With some slight word changes this can be a really good piece. Just reads 'mechanical' and for me that steals the true power that is hidden in this write.

[Zoe Anne]

I really love the imagery in this poem, and the rhyming scheme is awesome! Great write!

[HopelesslyDevoted]

the definition of true darkness. great work!

[ur_ginger_girl]

thats almost exactly how I felt in the hospital when I had brain surgery. wicked poem dude.

[A.Lee]

It does feel that way sometimes... Nice job describing that dark emotion.

[Black Cat Fever]

Very dark and eerie, kinda chilling. I hope its nothing more than feeling real down.

[Aline S. Iniestra]

Hmmm i like it!!!!! but i would have prefered it without the note about the ex girlfriend, the poem would have had a darker nuance not knowin what it was about really.