The Dark Chamber

This is my very first story that I wrote back when I was 17.

In Miami, Florida - on a Friday night. A man named Josh, who is always alone and shy. People were always picking on him just because he had a weird ugly face. The skin on his face is still badly burnt from an accident and ugly looking.

A few years ago someone was robbing his house, and Josh was trying to save his own house but the robber put his face in the kitchen pan and his face got burnt and cooked. Now the people keep on saying mean words to him, "You are ugly as hell!", "You freak go back to hell!", "Yeah no one wants you here."

Josh was so sad that he couldn't take the pain anymore. Josh kept on saying sad stuff to himself, "God why do you make me this way?" Josh cried, "They are right I don't belong here, I hate this stupid face now".

He started to cry as he walked to his kitchen and grabbed a knife. Josh walking to his bathroom and turns the water on in the bathtub. He started going in and cutting his face off with a knife as he sat in the tub as he cried thinking of all the torture he went through because of that ugly face. Josh was getting weak and weaker. He slowly began to die while he was done cutting his face off, but then all the sudden he wakes up. He climbs out of the bathtub, but his face was all normal. The house is all dark and he couldn’t see much of anything. He was walking and trying to get to the door. Right when he gets to the door he open's it and walks outside from his house.
Outside got all dark and windy. No one was outside - just him. He walks to the black streets, but suddenly the black streets started going around. "Oh no what's happening!" Josh thought.
He was trying to get back to his house, but he couldn't make it. The black streets was going around faster and faster that it was going down like a funnel hole. The black streets began to drag him down.
Josh started going down and down into the deeps of hell. When Josh fell into hell, he woke up and saw red hot rocks with red hot lava all around them. The hell rooms were just chambers with cages, chains with sharp nails, and hooks on peoples skin. Josh heard the people screaming in pain in the chambers of hell. One of the people in hell were saying "Ah help me, get this chains off me please."
The demon from hell whipped the man and making him shut up. "Shut up" yelled the demon, while he began whipping the man’s back harder and continued torturing him. He didn't know where he was, but he was all looking weird and so confused. Josh heard an evil voice calling his name "Josh", the evil voice said. "who is this?" he replied. The evil voice told him "I am the lord of darkness."
Josh turns around and saw a big demon with two big horns. "Are you Satan?", Josh asked as he looked at him confused as hell.

"Yes I am!" Satan replied.

"Why am I here?" Josh asked.

"Josh you are in hell because you cut your face off and you died and that it's called suicide, but I know how you feel in the real world where the people use to make fun of your ugly face, so I want you to go back to the real world and kill the people that make fun of you. I can take all there souls in hell."

Satan wanted to have more people in his chambers of hell, so Josh was thinking that he should do it. Josh decided to kill the people. "Yes my evil one I'll show them my pain." said Josh. Satan gives him powers to go back from the real world.
As he wakes up from the bathtub with his face off. Josh climbs out of the bathtub. He looks in the mirror and saw his cut off face it was nothing but a bloody skull and human meat in his face...So Josh decided to call himself No Face Man.

No Face Man started going in his basement to make a chamber. [A chamber is a brutal and torture place that has cages and a lot of pain and sharp things that will make you suffer and die.]
He started getting all the hooks, big nails, and cages to make him a chamber that has metal cages with big a*s nails on them, the other chambers that is just a wooded table that has big hooks at the end of it. He was all done making his chamber. It was dark and had candles around them.

He called his chamber The Dark Chamber.

He walked outside and went to the houses the belonged to the people that used to make fun of him. He opens one of the peoples door. A man and women were sleeping. They use to make fun of him all the time though. He walks quiet and slowly to their bed. He uses his hand to cover their mouth and brings them inside a white big bag. Then he went to another house and another house. That he knew where the people who make fun of him lives, and he did the same thing. He brings them to his dark chamber. He puts hooks on some of the people arms, back, neck, and legs so they can bleed to death and suffer the pain. The other people has just big a*s nails in their bodies inside the chambers. Everyone starts to scream in terror and suffering with torture.
No Face Man told all the people that make fun of him. "This is your pain that you use to make me in pain, so die all you fuckers."
The people started bleeding to death. The floors were getting all bloody and all the people souls were going in hell, while No Face Man laughed an oh so creepy laugh. He started to get weaker. As he fell into the floor. He wakes up and he was back in hell, and he stay there forever. Where he belongs, and the other people who making fun of him were in the chambers of hell were they belong too. The Devil pulled a trick on No Face Man, to gain souls and the souls of the people who made fun of him, but now for the rest of eternity he has all the souls he needs and wants to torture.


The End

Author's Note

Please comment it and ignore grammar problems.

Theme song for this story.

Reviews

[Ice QueenJen]

This was an excellent writing for being your first story. I am happy to see you have not strayed from being a writer of creepiness and gore! I also love that you put some fitting music to help with what was happening.

[Blake Blackstone]

Nice twist in the end.

[Eric Cox]

Excellent tale of revenge and horror. A cool and creatively done write.

Ghost (Eric Cox)

[Ruth]

Think this is one your most gruesome hon! lol
HorrorMaster - your work always causes a chill!

[The Tea Party Mouse.]

Revenge is a dish best served cold, haha. Your story is sick (in a good way), much like a horror movie. The only thing that can make it better is that it can use some more descriptive language.

[Coyote Poetry]

This is a very good story. Don't mess with the crazy people. They may come and get you. I like the set-up and the deal with the devil. A very good ending. He who laugh last may not get the last laugh in the end. A excellent story.
Coyote

[James Watts]

A pretty chilling write. Has one those feels to it that leaves you wondering if the door is locked every five minutes lol. And checking all the windows.

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Really sick and twisted with a moral story.. some of the best horrors are known for that! With minor work this could be the base of a real creepy horror.. gave me chills!

[Dutch Jr.]

Nice piece. You write some chilling horror stories. Name serves you right. LOL

[Star Wolf]

Made me shiver. Excellent chill factor!