Scarred; Chapter: 1 - Inheritance

Every story needs a beginning, and that's what this is. The long journey ahead starts here. (Start with Chapter: 0 if you want any idea on what things are or where this is happening.)

In the middle of the night in the southern side of the Kingdom of Riz, an uneasy setting sits. The neighborhood is not known for being warm-welcoming and comforting, but the air feels even more tainted than usual; tainted by a murderous intent. Near the port, which is located at the peaks on both the north and south sides of Riz, a man is being chased between crates set to be shipped out or distributed into the city. He keeps running and trying to lose the uncountable amount of men after him, he makes every turn he can, only to be cut off by a group of the unknown assailants. “Alright, just one more turn and I’ll be at the docks. The chime is distant, but that’s the bell signaling the departure.” He thought. He kept running, surprised at how well his pursuers were at chasing him. Looking back, the man thought, “Heh… You might have had a better chance of catching me if I was a normal man, but it’s going to take more than just normal soldiers to catch me… As long as I have this etched into me.” He then glanced down at the back of his hand, at the strange marking scarred on him. But, as he was starting to look back up and forward, a spear at an unbelievable speed came flying by his face. The man reeled back from the surprising amount of force behind this attack. Wiping the blood from his new wound he look ahead and the silhouette of someone, “Ha! Looks like yer’ gonna have yourself a new scar, bub!”

It was a woman, and her voice had an odd tone to it. “A Sinsman?” The man thought, but before he could get everything set straight in his head, the soldiers behind him had finally turned the corner and were only a few meters from our mysterious man. “S**t!” And with that, the man reached his left hand over to his right, scarred hand. And, as if he was trying to rip the scar from his hand, his left hand pulled back. “G-Get back!” The soldier in front yelled, but was quickly blown back. The man, now empowered by his scar, was glowing a dark  magenta color, with lines all over his body and the same color filling his eyes. He was radiating light, and at the same time, the mysterious woman called back her spear. And she ran at the man, yelling at the soldiers, “Charge him!”

With the command, the man was suddenly having to fight enemies from both sides, and it wasn’t really the normal soldiers he was worried about. The woman came charging in as well, and was the first to start battling the man, rushing at him with the spear. The man grabbed the spear past the point and started to slam the woman into the crates on the sides, eventually throwing her back towards the direction she came from. Then he turned to focus his attention on the seemingly unending stream of soldiers. Any of the normal soldiers were pretty much there to tire the man, anyone he hit dying either instantly or flying back into the rest of the soldiers. But, the man kept pushing the soldiers back and started to gain ground towards that direction, breaking swords, denting armor, and crushing skulls. “Trying to get out the easy way, huh!?” He heard the woman say as she came charging back, so before he turned to her, he stomped the ground, and he seemed to make the whole earth shake. The ground underneath the soldiers came up and cracked, tripping soldiers and even sending some skyward. Finally the woman was back and they were only trading blows. Until the man was able to grab the spear as he did before and began to slam her into the ground, and he lifted her over his head and slammed her back down. He went back and forth 3 times, but the fourth time, the woman was directly over the man’s head and broke the pole to her own spear. She took the now splintered piece of wood and fell down to the man. The sudden change weight made the man overswing and left him far too exposed for his liking. He took the spear part he had, and thrusted it up towards her while she was coming down. But, the man felt a strange force pulling his arm up towards girl, “Why is this so hard to control?” The man thought, but then he noticed, it wasn’t his hand that was moving oddly, it was the spear! The woman was trying to call the spear back as she did before. The man’s hand then flipped and it was the broken part of his spear that was facing the woman now, and the point once again facing down towards the ground. “N-No! She’s made it so the point doesn’t come to her when she wants to retrieve it!” The man had no reach anymore! He was holding the broken half close to the bottom, where the wood had been split, for the most range he could get. This left him with just his right hand, which held nothing. So, he reached his hand up and when the woman came down, she pierced his hand with the half of the spear she had.

The man screamed in pain, but didn’t have time, the soldiers were already up! And they were still charging! He quickly let go of the spear part he had, and it went flying up, the woman caught it, she smirked and told him, “Thanks sweetheart!” The man grabbed the wood that was stuck in his right hand with his left, and along with the woman, threw them into the crowd of soldiers. She crashed into the soldiers in the front, “If she wasn’t a Sinsman, the blood loss would have hit her by now…” The man thought as he saw the woman’s blood very slowly ooze out of her wounds. The man quickly picked up a sword in his left hand, and began to trade with the woman, whom had taken a spear from a soldier and Sinfused that one. The two kept exchanging hits and circling around, anytime one had their back to the soldiers, they used some as either shields or weapons. The woman would throw her spear, the man would hit it out of the way, she’d call it back when he got in close. The man would throw up soldiers, cut through them when they blocked the woman’s sight. She, would quickly slide around to the man’s right side, his now bad side. The man was starting to realize that his only option was running, if he made it he might still be able to jump aboard the boat heading north. He managed to kick the woman back, and while she was getting up, he stabbed a soldier and flung him into the side of the crate next to the woman, causing it and the crates on top to fall. The woman came charging to avoid the crates, but as she flew by the man, he grabbed her spear once more, and threw her, now with her own speed added on to it. He quickly charged through the collapsing crates, and with that he ran towards the water, looking back he thought with a smirk, “This! This is the Strength Scar!” and he jumped towards the boat, cracking the ground as he lept. In the air for over 15 seconds, the man finally landed on the back of the boat, and he sat himself against the railing. “I think I deserve a break…” He thought, “Yeah… But we don’t!” Said a new voice.

The man knew he couldn’t win this fight, but before he did what he had planned he asked the men surrounding him, “How’d y’know I’d be here?” They looked at each other and bent kneeled down to the man’s level and said, “Heh, our boss. The Sinsman you were fightin’.” The man had accepted his fate, and said one more thing, “Sorry kid…” The men on the boat looked at him confused and asked him “What are y-” But before they could get anything else out the man took the sword he had with him and ran it through his body. And thus was the end of the Strength Scar Bearer.

Reviews

[Sinbulvinter]

Like I thought, a very interesting plot. Great start to your story, jumping right in!
The grammar seems good thus far, and the dialogue is well written.
I do have some advice. Your paragraphing is rather large, which makes the story a bit harder to read. Shorter paragraphs flow better, and keep the reader focused rather than the paragraphs being long and mashed together. Paragraphing is hard to get the hang of, and there's many ways to do it. Most people stick to five to seven sentences per paragraph, keeping action paragraphs and thoughts/feelings paragraphs separate, and separating character dialogue from narration. There's a lot to it, but there's a lot of good archives you can find online to help you with it.
Overall, this story certainly caught my eye, and I will be reading on. I like it a lot, and expect it to turn out very good. It's really something fresh and different! Keep it up!