[rant]

[an angry rant]

Why do i always do this to myself?

I put myself in a position of vulnerability and i get hurt.

I put myself in a place where someone else has the ability to break me, and they do.

I'm sick of it.

So for now, my heart is put away, locked up in a box, and only i have the key.

 

Prove to me that you deserve to see it, and i may let you...i may open up to you and let you see my innermost thoughts and feelings...maybe. I may are about you and trust you...but you have toprove that you won't hurt me, cuz i will not be broken by those i trust anymore.

i refuse.

i've taken one too many blows...and i won't take anymore.

i'm sick of hurting, crying, and being beaten down.

so don't ask me to pretend to care, or feel anymore, i won't.
i'm sorry if that hurts you, but i'm hurting too, and i can't take it anymore, i can't take it alone.

 

i wish that you would just understand that and not ask me to be perfect, cuz i'm not and i never will be. that seems to be what it all comes down to, i will neer be good enough. i will never measure up to your expectations. so i'm not even gonna try.