Nothing Left

There's nothing left

No feelings to be had

As though his soul

Is beyond being sad

There's nothing left

I've become a thrall

Ever since the darkness

Came and took it all

There's nothing left

Not a single part

Why should I try

To save his heart

There's nothing left

Only a hole inside

Thanks to the darkness

Who took his bride

There's nothing left

She has become a minion

Where she did go

Is your own opinion

There's nothing left

No not anymore

He decided that life

Was too hard a chore

There's nothing left

If the darkness would leave

She'd be left all alone

With many others who grieve

Author's Note

It sucks, but I was kinda bored. Tell me what you think, and whether it should be a song or a book. I'll be glad to hear your opinions.

Reviews

[Chuck]

It's obviously lyrical, which I'm personally not a fan of, but I think you did it well here. Again, you do not need to take any of this advice, but I find the reader expects the rhyme you're going for, or at least I was able to in a loose sense. However, I love the abcb structure you ran. I think this would fit as a nice song, like you said above, but I'm not really feeling it as a poem. I like the repeating line a bunch to, it's a good statement to fall back on.

[Hope Rose]

The rhyming was actually just a product of my boredom. The original thing didn't rhyme, though it was easily predicted. But I'm glad you like it, thanks.

[annalysiar]

It doesn't suck. Bored or no...a poem is a poem.
great write in they essence, great flow

[Hope Rose]

Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed it. Though this is actually longer I just didn't post the rest.

[annalysiar]

Hmm long poems have messages, puzzles and story lines they weave and flow. I would like to read the whole thing

[Hope Rose]

I could post a 3-page thing I wrote randomly if you want?

[annalysiar]

Lol I would enjoy it but the question be be if you would

[Hope Rose]

I would love to but I couldn't post it until tomorrow since the book it's in is at home.

[annalysiar]

Its fine and its a great thought...

[Hope Rose]

What is a great thought?

[annalysiar]

Tomorrow

[Hope Rose]

Yeah, true

[Dead]

this is really good!!!!!!!

[Rose Jaeger Kaneki]

*cries because of this poem* this should be a book. This made me cry because it is so sad

[Hope Rose]

It was something I was thinking described me and Jake. It was instantaneous, honestly. It's kind of weird.

[Rose Jaeger Kaneki]

okay, yeah it can be like that