Dear Louise

Sometimes life can hold you in a waiting period where nothing new or special seems to be happening, and the only way to break free is to push your limits to see what you can handle.

Dear Louise,

I have come to the understanding that life is too short to not experience something magnificent each day. I have just entered the second decade of my life, and as a new twenty year old young woman I have yet to live through anything so extraordinary that I am bubbling with excitement to share my story with everyone. I pride myself in my story telling, as you would know from my countless hours of sharing with you, but there comes a point where descriptive words can only make a trip to the post office sound so interesting. Trips like those are all I seem to be doing these days. I’m yearning for new life experiences, Louise. At this rate I won’t even have a single memory worth speaking about to my fellow peers at the retirement home my future children will inevitably put me in.

I feel as though I’m in a constant state of waiting. As if I’m dutifully going through my days one by one in anticipation of something that will never happen. And why should anything worth waiting for happen? I certainly don’t try to do anything about it. I am always waiting for a chance to arise that will sweep me out of my current position and lead me to something bigger. I am waiting for my insecurities to magically dissolve so that I can go out for a night with my friends feeling great about myself. I am waiting for the man of my dreams to enter my life on a white horse and make me fall head over heals in love. I am waiting for my life to start, and that is the horrible issue I am presented with now. My life started twenty years ago, and it is time for me to live it. I am sick of waiting.

 

Of course the next problem I am presented with is that after so many years of waiting, I am not sure what the next move should be. You see, I’ve always dreamt of what would happen to me if I was out of this waiting phase of my life, but I never imagined exactly how to go about doing so. I want to do something that makes all of my senses come alive. I want to know what it feels like to leave this state and venture somewhere new without knowing exactly what I’m doing. I want to know what it would feel like to walk down the street and have no one know about my past and to know about no one else’s. I want the chance to be surrounded by many people who have the potential to teach me invaluable life lessons, but only the ones I’m supposed to meet will. 

 

I can just hear you now laughing at my “free-spirited dream ramblings” as you would call it, but I know that it’s time for a change in my life and I’m serious this time.

 

You’ve met my parents, Louise, you know how they are. They’re perfectly content staying where we are. They love having me home with them instead of at a big college like most people our age are, and they don’t see why I would want it any other way. To an extent I’m okay with that too, but I think the problem is that I’m too okay with settling for the mediocrity in my life that I’m failing to pursue a purpose. I don’t need something as extravagant as soul searching in a foreign country surrounded by people who believe meditation is the key to the universe or even a grandiose, extended trip to every European country where I spend my nights slumming it in a hostel with 15 other lost hearts. No, I just need something that’s going to challenge me every day to step beyond myself and really grow into who I am. 

 

I find it rather somber that I have known myself for twenty years and yet do not know what I’m most passionate about, what I need out of a relationship, or what makes me feel great about myself. I don’t even know if I could accurately pick three words to describe myself for a job interview that aren’t just your generic run of the mill words. I want to embark on a journey that will lead me to finding out those three things and more. I want to be able to confidently and proudly brag about myself and my accomplishments. I want to like myself enough to even want to brag.

 

I’ve always admired the bravery and courageousness you possess when faced with a strenuous situation. I remember three years ago being scared out of my mind just because I was getting my wisdom teeth removed and surgery was an uncharted territory for me. The only thing that got me to actually get myself to the doctor’s office to carry on with the procedure is you Louise. I told myself that if you could face your battles with the kind of courage I’ve only seen from you, then I could do something as comparatively small as getting my wisdom teeth removed. I’d like to borrow some of your courage again for my next adventure. Whatever it is, I know it’ll be uncharted territory for me as well, and I know I’ll be scared. But I also know that if I never do it, I’ll never discover if I possess incredible qualities too like you discovered when faced with your biggest battles. I guess it’s those obstacles life throws us that make us really grow into ourselves, and it’s time for me to come out of hiding and let the universe show me what it’s made of.

With all the love,

Nadine

Author's Note

This is the prelude to a story that will be unfolding in the chapters to come, let me know if you like the idea of this character build up or if it seems like an unnecessary input.

Reviews

[diaphanous]

I like this opening. As a recent twenty year old myself, I can relate to this character and her fears. Specifically the fear of letting life pass you by with nothing interesting or remarkable to gain from it. Just like Nadine, I think a lot of us are just waiting too. I'm excited to see more, to see where this story goes.

[Hope Gabrielle]

So glad you liked it! I am hoping Nadine can be a character that embodies the fears and emotions of many young adults her age. More to come soon on the story.