You Were Gone

 

“Good morning,” I said when I saw her reading the morning paper. She looked up and gave me a brief smile before returning to the article. Distractedly she pushed a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear while she finished the article.

 

I watched her reading for a moment, content that she was home where she belonged. “I thought you were gone.”

 

“Gone?” she asked, folding the paper. “Where would I go?”

 

“I don’t know. I guess it was a dream.”

 

At the counter, I poured myself a cup of coffee. “Want some?”

 

“Yes, please,” she smiled. When I handed her the mug she closed both hands around it and held it up to her nose. “Mmm.  You always make the best coffee.”

 

I laughed. It was the same thing she always said, but it never failed to make me smile.  “You have to say that. I’m your mother.”

 

I watched as she smiled. Her eyes crinkled at the sides and one eyelid closed slightly. It was a habit that she’d had since she was a child and I found sweet and endearing. It was the kind of innocent detail that mothers never forget.

 

“What are your plans for the day?” I asked. My eyes never left her precious face. I couldn’t get enough of just watching her.

 

“Shopping – what else?” she asked with a giggle.  It was her favorite past time and a Saturday morning routine that we often shared together.   

 

She put down her mug and looked at her watch. “Oh, its time for me to go.”

 

She slid her chair out and stood up; my heart started to hammer inside my chest. “So, soon? We haven’t even had a chance to catch up!”

 

She looked toward the door and back at me, her brown eyes sad. “I’m sorry mom. You knew I couldn’t stay.”

 

I watched her walk through the door, my heart breaking as she faded into the distance.

 

My eyes fluttered open, and I knew it was just a dream. Tears welled in my eyes and slid down my face. It was only a dream, but for a brief, beautiful moment, I had her back again.           

       

Author's Note

As always please tell me if you see any type o's or grammar goofs. Thanks!

Reviews

[Kathryn Star, Shine!]

Ohhhhh... what can I say about this??? My daughter is almost 17, and she leaves but comes back. I know when she turns 18, she'll be off to college and I'll walk by her room and feel the emptiness in my heart. I know the meaning of 'looking at your daughter for the little things' keeping in mind so you'll never forget. This was a true tear jerker... and that's hard to find. I really enjoy your writing. KS

[Sean Allen]

A beautiful, but sad, conversation between a mother and daughter. I loved the imagry you used and I could 'see' her in the piece.

Technical stuff?
It's a picky little thing that I try to keep in mind as I edit what I have already written...
Writers should avoid repeating the same word in a sentence or too closely together in a paragraph.

'...returning to the article.'
'...finished the article.'

Of course, there are times when repetition is desirable as well.

[LadyNaida]

I really didn't notice any typos but the is was beautiful and sad at the same time.

[DiggeyEleven]

Short and beautiful, nice read with some great imagery and the end really tied in that feeling the mother was getting when she was watching her child once again. Want it to continue though, but understandable if it's just a peek into the sorrow that one feels when losing a loved one. Great read!

[Babbette Francis]

This story is a beautiful but full of sadness. The loss of a child, it sounds to me. I probably would have never read it I had known the end. very well written.

[Nix]

Is this one you posted before? One of your first I think, about a friend's situation? Can't remember but I enjoyed this a lot, always love your writing. I was trying to place whether it was a personal experience and then I got to end and realised it wasn't. I enjoy snippets like this, flash pieces of moments. It leaves me wanting to know more! x

[Big ol' Kahuna]

I like the imagery, and love the subject matter. Although it is sad in topic, it has cheerful feelings throughout. To me the messages are clear, so hopefully I am right and not tasting my big old foot right now, but the two things I take away from this are that some of the most blessed feelings or memories we can take with us, are the simple things, simple times spent with the ones we love, and the other is that sieze the day. Let the ones you love know how you feel, because you just never know when the last chance you will get is.
Good job. Very nice to provoke such thought in such a compact story.