Destiny Isle

*squeals* I'm getting strong Japanese vibes here. I like where this is going and I think its a great, well-written start. Definitely keep going with this. The only suggestion I would make is to slow down the story (or backstory, whichever this is), and flesh it out with dialogue and some character development. Also, there were a couple run-on sentences you might want to go back and fix. Thanks for sharing! I loved it!

Posted 13 Years Ago

I was onboard until I got to the last two paragraphs. I'm not sure what's going on. I suspect there's backstory, but you drop a lot of info in only page and a half.

Posted 13 Years Ago

*squeals* I'm getting strong Japanese vibes here. I like where this is going and I think its a great, well-written start. Definitely keep going with this. The only suggestion I would make is to slow down the story (or backstory, whichever this is), and flesh it out with dialogue and some character development. Also, there were a couple run-on sentences you might want to go back and fix. Thanks for sharing! I loved it!

Posted 13 Years Ago