A dying man's deliriums

As I promised, here is the new chapter. This one really exhaust me because it was a flash back to the past and not so much fun to write, but I needed this set up for my later chapter. So bear with me, I promise some heart warming chapters to come next. Please let me know what you think of it and vote if it is to your liking. 

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POV Alexander 

This must have been what heaven tasted like! I had tasted her before but this was different, her sweet flavour danced on my bitter tongue, leaving a delightful after taste. I could not get enough of her luscious lips, nibbling and sucking on her flesh like my life depended on it. Her tiny body was crushed between my arms as I was squeezing her with a killer passion and as the smell of honey and lavender filled my head, I thought to myself, yes, I had died and gone to heaven.

But then, she suddenly pulled back, her enchanting eyes were twinkling of excitement and her rosy face was all flushed from her emotions. With her parted lips trembling she was the living image of a lost angel. Quickly, she grabbed her veil and disappeared into the darkness of castle.

My body missed her warmness immediately. I wobbled a little and lost my balance but an arm grabbed me before I fell. I heard Cleon's strong voice commanding soldiers: 

"Go back to your chambers and retire for now, tomorrow, early morning everyone should be up and ready on their allocated post." 

No one protested, they just turned and returned to the castle. Cleon gently Ushered me. 

"You have drunken a lot my Lord, go to your bedroom and rest."  

I tried to straighten myself.  

"I do not wish to rest, where did she run off to?" I struggled to get my arm out of his grip. He did not let go though. 

"She is probably back in her room, I do not think it is a good idea to summon her tonight." I tried to argue with him but it was no use. He could not understand my passion, my enthusiasm to have her back in my arms. Suddenly something hit my foggy mind.  

"You saw her, did not you?" I mumbled. 

He did not answer. 

I yelled this time: "answer me! You all saw her face!" 

"Yes we did my Lord, but do not worry, she is your betrothed and in a week she will be your wife, no man here would think of her as anything other than your future queen." He answered in an even voice. 

Not quite convinced, I let him guid me to my bedroom and help me to my bed. I fell on my bed and closed my eyes in the hope to see her in my dreams when I heard an ear piercing scream and constant knock on my door. 

Annoyed and worried, I jumped. Cleon rushed to the door but it burst open and Roxanne's mother ran inside while crying hysterically. She was sobbing uncontrollably while holding a piece of paper and mumbling words I could not quite make of. In an instant, I became sober. My heart was pounding so hard and all my sensed were alerted. All I could think about was that they had done it, the assassins got into the castle and stole her from me.

Before I said or did anything, Cleon rushed to calm her down. He gave her some water and tried to understand what she was saying but then his attention was drawn to the note in her hand, so he just grabbed it and started reading. I looked at him impatiently waiting for an explanation, but he did not say a word. Frustrated and angry, I tugged the paper and tried to make out the content. The words were dancing in front of my eyes and they were somehow really difficult to understand, or believe, but the reality was right there, she had finally run away from me, with her brother, in the hope of coming back to rescue her mother and other girls soon.

I felt a sudden pain in my rib cage that made me sit on my bed. It was all an act, her words, her innocent eyes, her inviting lips and her kiss, all there to deceive me, all part of her devious plan to deceit me into thinking she had feelings for me while she arranged to flee. How could I be so stupid? How could I forget that at the end of the day, to her, I was only a savage who took over her country and captivated her family?

Atusa was still crying and pleading but I was not listening. I looked at Cleon's pale face who still seemed shocked by this turn of events and then jumped to head for the dungeon. They could not have got very far and if I moved fast enough, I would surely be able to catch up to them. Cleon called behind me: 

"My lord, wait, let me get some of the soldiers, you are drunk after all..." 

I was not listening though, running down the stairs towards the dungeon, all I could think of was Darius's smirking face. I was not going to let him finish things like this! 

I passed two blacked out guards on my way and cursed myself. It was all the result of my own act that she could get away, if I had not arranged for this feast, she could have never got into the dungeon. 

A thought came to my mind, it was possible that they were still down there in the dungeon. After all, we were outside and none of us had seen them escape. I sped up and opened the dungeon door, my body quivering with excitement and anger.  

"Roxanne, where are you? " 

I yelled hoping for an answer but there was nothing. I headed towards Darius's cell. My head was throbbing in pain, and my throat was dry, all I could think of was to find Roxanne and then...? 

What was I going to do with her? She had betrayed me once again, and this time she had stepped too far by playing with my feelings! I had a sudden urge to find her and slap her hard on the face and then pull her tight in my arms at the same time!  

I could hear Cleon's footstep following me, he had been asking me to slow down but I ignored him and went on.Gasping for breathe, I reached Darius's cell. The door was open as I suspected and it was obvious that there was no one inside. Disappointed but furious I stormed out when I sensed a breeze coming from the end of dungeon. There was no window or door to outside, so where was the breeze coming from?

I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard Cleon's fast breathing. Without a word, I pointed to end of dungeon and he nodded in understanding. I was unarmed but he was carrying a sword. Then before we reached the end, I heard a faint moan coming from one of the cells.

Putting cautious beside, we ran inside. I was shocked by what I saw, there was a tunnel in the wall and the sound was coming from inside. It was really dark and the light coming from the torch Cleon was carrying, could not illuminate much of the tunnel. Slowly, we followed the sound.

Not far from the tunnel entrance, I found the source to the sound. Perian advisor was on the ground in a pool of blood. He was moaning and breathing heavily. From the amount of blood on the ground and on his garment, I could tell that his wound was deep. Cleon walked ahead to see if anyone else was there in the tunnel. I called him and told him to fetch a healer as soon as possible.

Kneeling beside Farhad, I lifted his head. It was obvious that he wanted to prevent Darius and Roxanne from escaping and was attacked because of it. Why would he do that? I knew he was loyal to Darius and Roxanne, so why did he want to stop their plan?

For just a second, he opened his eye and saw me. I took his hand in mine and told him not to be worried, that a healer would soon be on his side. He did not seem to care though, gathered his strength and squeezed my hand with all his remaining energy and mumbled: 

"He took her by force" 

I drew my head closer so I could hear him clearly, but he did not say anything else, closed his eyed and fainted. His words echoed in my mind: 

"He took her by force, he took her by force, she did not want to run away from me, she did not lie....."

POV Farhad

I fell into a pleasant emptiness. I could no longer feel the pain and my mind was shutting down from all the events that was going around me. I knew it was death that was coming for me and I tried to fight it, so many things I needed to do, so many things I wanted to say and it seemed my time was running out. Then I fell into a dream, a long lost memory from my young days, the very first day that I met Atusa.

I was standing right beside the king, waiting for the guests to enter the hall. The king was sat on a throne, his body seemed smaller under the thick layers of his fancy robe and uncomfortable with his heavy crown on his head. His forehead was covered with sweat beads and his face was so pale, any moment I thought he would faint.

A soldier had announced that the guests were close by and were to be expected any moment. I was tempted to ask the king to return to bed but I knew that his presence was necessary. He had to be there to greet and consolidate his brother's young widow. 

These past few month, the gods turned their back on our kingdom. King's younger brother, Lord Arash, was killed by barbarians who wanted to kidnap his wife. Fortunately, lady Atusa was saved with the sacrifice of her husband and now she was coming to see the king and ask his permission to go back to her own family.

The king loved his brother dearly. Lord Arash was the pride of our land, handsome, brave, kind hearted, and loved by people everywhere, an opposite point to king's son, prince Darius. There was a rumor that the king would consider his brother as the heir of the crown, but I knew it was not true. The king did not know anything about the evil things the prince was doing or how cruel and ruthless he was. I wanted to tell him about the prince, what he does to peasant virgin girls, how cruel he is with slaves and his other evil doings, but every time I got scared that if prince found out, he would have me executed in no time. I was the king's advisor, but even I was no match for the prince.

I loved the king like a friend, like a brother. He was gentle and kind, always thinking of his people and their welfare. He used to be brave and strong before his illness but this constant fever was wearing him out, eating his strength to the last drop. It started a year ago and no healer from our land or other countries could cure it. The king was slowly dying and he knew it. The curse of gods was Conquering our land, our king, our souls. His illness, the death of Lord Arash, army's constant loses against barbarians were all signs of a disastrous future and I knew if the king died a dark age would fall upon us.

I took another look at the king. He was breathing heavily, his fists clenching in pain. I could not hold back any longer, took his hand and said: 

"My lord, do you want me to call the healer? You should go to bed...." 

He cut my words:  

"No, I have to see Lady Atusa." 

I wanted to protest when the door opened and an announcer declared lady's entrance. That is when I saw her.

She was walking in front of a small group of women, probably her maids. She looked so tiny and fragile in her simple black dress that I thought she might fall and break like a delicate piece of china. Her eyes were down and she was walking gracefully towards the king. As she got close, I got a better look at her face. She was breathtakingly beautiful with her raven black hair, delicate skin and small rosy lips. I still could not see her eyes as they were stuck to the floor. She stopped in front of the king and kneeled. The king tried to stand, his legs shaky and trembling. I rushed to help him and he did not protest, grabbing my hand and leaning on my body to support his weight. 

I walked him towards lady Atusa, the king stretched his arm towards the lady and she took it without raising her head and planted a kiss on King's hand. The king opened his mouth, his voice unsteady:  

"My child, I am sorry for the pain you are enduring now, but remember that there is also no word to describe the agony in my heart, my brother was the pride of our land and certainly there will be no substitute to his existence." 

That was the moment she brought up her gaze. The second I saw those enchanting indigo eyes, I was lost. Those beautiful but sad marbles bewitched me right there and hunted me for the rest of my life.  

" I thank you your majesty. His loss has left a big hole in my heart and soul. I wish I could die but unfortunately Gods left me alone and alive while taking my beloved from me." Her velvety voice sent shivers through my body, what a delightful little creature! 

The king took her hand and lifted her to her feet. He walked her to the seat behind his throne and kindly tried to consolidate her pain. The rest of my memory from that day and days to follow it was foggy, the only vivid parts were those with Atusa around me. The king had ordered for a feast in honour of Lady Atusa, but there were supposed to be no dancing or music because we were still mourning for our beloved Lord Arash.

That evening, Atusa never made it to the feast. While in her room getting ready, she collapsed and fainted so a healer was called to see her immediately. The king waited impatiently to hear what had happened until we were told not to worry, the lady was expecting a baby. The king was delighted with the news and ordered the maids and servants to look after Atusa. He was hoping that a son with Arash's blood in his vein could replace him after all.

That night, the king had a weird dream, one that took away his calm and made him summon all the sorcerers and priests across the land to interpret it. When none was able to do so, he asked me to go to the only priestess that was in a far away convent and ask for her help. While I was gone, the king did not allow Atusa to go back to her family, instead, he kept her almost locked up in his harem because he was really panicky because of his dream. He believed whatever the dream meant, it had something to do with Atusa and her baby.

I, myself were frustrated and desperate. Deep in my heart, I had my own plans and desires. Far from king's worries and concerns, I was having my own ambitions , a hopeless dream of having Atusa. I thought that maybe the king would allow us to get married, then we could stay close to the king and he can witness his nephew's growing up. How naive I was!

I went back to the king with what the priestess had said, little that I knew all my hopes and happiness was ruined the moment I talked to him. Between my lost memories, I could clearly remember the next day when he summoned me. The day my happiness died and was buried forever.

I was drawn into darkness once again, but this time the pain was back and strongly spread through my body. I felt a severe thirst and tried to ask for water but my tongue was useless in my dried mouth. I drifted back to my memories and to the day that my hopes and dreams perished.

The king summoned me to announce that he was going to marry Atusa. He thought it would be the best, considering the future that was predicted for her child. He did not want to see this child challenge him or prince Darius's monarchy in future and since nobody knew that Atusa was pregnant from Lord Arash, they would see the new baby as his child. The king wanted me to swear to secrecy and help him in this matter.

My lost memories, why should I remember them now, when I am this close to death? Moments of love and loss, days of hope and despair and finally I was doomed to relive my one moment of regret. I wanted so badly to protest, to tell the king that I was in love with Atusa and I could not silently watch as he took her away from me forever, but I could not. I listened silently and bowed, I cried inside as he announced his decision to Atusa and she protested with all her power, I fought my urges to shout in objection as she married the king and then I adjusted to my misery, learnt to love from far away and not say a word. After those days, I became master in keeping secrets.

Darius was furious at the news of his father remarrying. He was busy fighting our enemies but wrote a disrespectful letter to his father expressing his anger. The queen had died long ago and the king never saw a reason to remarry, he was happy with his a few harem girls and with his recent disease, he had lost all his sexual desires. Darius could not understand his father's sudden urge to marry Atusa but the king wrote him a letter and explained everything, even his dream.

It was a mistake, as soon as Darius received the letter, he returned to the castle. This was right around the time that Atusa was close to her due date and the king illness had taken a turn to worse, there was very rare moments in a day when he was awake and could say words that made any sense. I was practically the one who was running the affairs of the castle.

Darius came home and took over the throne. The court knew that the king was dying soon and no one protested. Atusa was worried though, she could see that Darius was not happy about her as the queen in the castle but there really was not anything he could do, she was officially the queen and in t he eyes of people, pregnant with king's child. I was worried too, deep in Darius's eyes, I could see something dark and evil, my heart was telling me that he was waiting for the baby to be born so he could harm him or get ride of him.

Then came that night, Atusa went in labour. I was in the king's chamber, he had not been awake for days and there was nothing healers could do. I was thinking about the paradox between life and death at that moment, an old man was dying in this chamber while a new life was beginning in the next one. Darius was also at his father's bed, but all his attention was to the servants who would have been coming from Atusa's room with a news. She was having a difficult labour so apart from female midwives, we had to send in the castle's main healer which was a man to help with baby's delivery.

With every scream coming from Atusa's room, my heart ached. I wished I could take her in my arms and relieve her of her pain but I could not. Finally the baby was born. An eunuch rushed to our room to give us the enunciation and receive his rewards. Alas, the baby was a girl.

With this shocking news, Darius smiled. He no longer saw a threat to his throne from this little baby, it was a girl after all, a girl who would grow up in the harem and learn to sew and please his future husband. I was also pleased that the baby was going to be safe from Darius. I was wrong.

A faint sound surprised us both, like a miracle the king opened his eyes and called me. We rushed to his side and I told him the news. He smiled and asked to see the child so I sent out a servant to bring us the baby. The king took my hand and asked Darius to sit beside him. Then asked me to swear for loyalty to his son as I had been to him. When I did, he turned to his son and told him to rule the land fairly and with kindness in his heart. He asked him to be respectful to Atusa and always treat her like a queen. Darius nodded.

The door opened and a servant walked in, carrying a baby in her arms. As she bowed by the door, I sensed that something was seriously wrong. His face was pale and she seemed unable or unwilling to move and bring the baby to where we were. My heart fell in fear, a disability or disfigurement would have meant a very hard life for this innocent creature.

Darius yelled at the girl to move, so she stood shakily and hurried to king's bed and handed the sleeping baby to the king who had sat up on his bed with difficulty. The king opened baby's swaddle a little to get a better look at her when he froze in shock. I had not seen the baby's face yet, but from his expression, I thought that my initial fear was confirmed.

Shaking from weakness, he handed me the baby and fell on his bed again. His breathing became heavier and sweat covered his feverish face. Once again he was going to faint. A coma that this time he could never come out of. Just before closing his eyes, he murmured 

"Look after her Farhad" 

Those were his last words. He was then drifted into a permanent sleep. I looked at the innocent creature in my arms and was stunned by what I saw. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Darius came close and took her from me with a sudden move, the baby woke up as the result, opened her eyes and started to cry. None of us moved for a while, the sound of her voice, the colour of her eyes and her mesmerising beauty had paralysed us. Then Darius spoke, without taking his eyes from her face, he gave his first commands as the ruler of Peria: 

"Go to her mother and tell her she needs to prepare another piece of clothing for this baby. From now on, her face should always be covered with a veil. She is not to be seen by anyone except her mother and myself." 

I stood there, shocked by his words when he shouted. 

"Are you deaf? Go quickly now and also tell her that her negligence or disobedience would have severe consequences for her and her baby. Tell her that if the baby is seen unveiled, then I will take the child away from her. Go!" 

I bowed quickly and turned to the door when he said: 

"Wait, one more thing. Tell the guards to kill the midwife and the healer. I do not want them to tell any one what they saw here tonight." 

I opened my mouth to protest but his ruthless eyes stopped me. So I just turned and left.

So many secrets that I was taking to my grave, so many regrets. This was my punishment, the price of my silence against all the things I could have protested to or stood and prevented. I stood and watched as Atusa and Roxanne suffered for years as well as all those other people under Darius's domination. I even stayed quite when I felt Darius's evil intentions towards Roxanne, I saw his lustful eyes and I still did not do anything. This was my retribution and I deserved it.

Then someone called me to come back, a velvety voice that I had known with my flesh and blood, a sound that was pleading me not to leave her alone. I would die another day.