Jus talkin

my life? i dunno im jus talkin.

I wanna be able to give the world to the people i love. I wish i could heal people, bless them, LOVE everyone. I've never had a new years resolution until 2011. I wanna love more, give more, show people how much i care more. This year I would love to better myself. I registerd for college today. yeah, motha fluffin college! Never saw myself as a college student, mainly because growing up it was never spoke about round my house. Sense my parents both graduated from High School my dad got this badass job just a few years later with his sister-in-laws dad and has made great money ever sense. But times have changed and you need a college degree n thats somethin my parents never understood. So all this college stuff has been done on my own and im jus sooo exhausted! Its time for me to grow up. 2011 is a new me. It might not mean much but i even took my lip ring out, my labret ive had for almost 5 yrs now. Im about to be 21 n I'm stoked! But I'm growing up, and It's time for me to mature. 2010 took me to hell n I had to fight for my life to get back home. I now know the true meaning of "freedom" and its so sacred. I truly love myself, i might not always like myself, my hair that day, a pimple on my face but i truly LOVE who I am, because i made this. I'm an outter portrait of what i am inside. I show it through my music, the expresions on my face, my words, my touch, tattoos, clothing, everything i did. For a long time ive studied higher powers, something greater than me. I grew up in a baptist church where i attended all day on sundays, wed, and thurs. nights for bible study and chore practice all week. It was forced upon me to mentally abusive points. I'll never forget my childhood. Its a huge part of why i feel the way i feel today, and sometimes it scary. Its made me question "God" and "life" itself, but now im thankful for that. If any of you read this and have never watched Zietgiest, i HIGHLY recomend it, but please, dont let the movie run your own thoughts, although it has great information, figure it out for yourself. I don't think anyone else could have the same vision i do for what God is, and who he is. cuz "he's" there, yuh, hes there. Im thirsty. Ill write more later.