My Luck

Short poem, simple words and vocabs used.

F**k you to hell.
Can't you just,
Let me be?
I'm about to break that bell.
You better stop ringing it.
You make me feel that I don't
F*****G FIT.
Everything you try to do
To fix me up
BREAKS ME THE F**K DOWN.
That repulsive frown,
On your face,
Does not scare me.
When can I leave this place?
So, tonight my pace goes up.
Lemme hear you gulp.
Then again, what the f**k
Am I trying to do?
I always come to realize
That, what truly sucks
is my luck.

Author's Note

Review please.

Reviews

[angelina]

I'm sort of shocked into speechlessness! I do understand where you are coming from, when people help out and its best to be left alone, it's like we must have our own place to get our peace to heal the would we have acquired and then after it has healed will we go out into the world and face whatever that we feel like encountering, testing our abilities once more.

[raindroplove]

i know how you feel

[SoLongAndThanksForAllTh..]

All of the teenage angst in the world is nicely wrapped up in this poem. I'm sure it will strike a chord with both parents and teens around the world.

When reading this the most striking thing I detected was the use of so many atypical sentiments. There's not fitting in, wanting to leave all mixed in with a kind of righteous indignation. It really captures every aspect of the grumpy, hormonal teenager. Nicely written.

[Brette Medb]

This poem is very angsty to me. Not in a bad way I promise. All I could picture was a teenage girl who has just been told she can't be with a boy, or go to a party. It was very strong and forceful and had full belief in the fact that the other person is wrong. Very good.


B

[.shalynn.009.]

"Everything you try to do
To fix me up.
BREAKS ME THE F**K DOWN." I'm not sure why you put a period after "To fix me up" since it was an incomplete phrase.

Very powerful poem (and not just because of the repeated use f**k). The speaker's anger and frustration was captured well with the short, explosive lines and phrases. I like hte loose rhyme scheme, too, which gave the poem a subtle, but very nice, beat. But that was about the only subtle thing about this. Very strong and full of emotion. I like that we aren't told what exactly the speaker is angry about, or who he/she is angry at. It universalizes the poem, so that any reader of any age, sex, and lifestyle can relate. Well done with this.

[Dante Balsote]

Many people have considered poetry to be an outlet for emotions. But I think it's more than that.

[Stripes]

The aggression is very prominent and powerful. The format gave if a certain angry feel as well. Very good job.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Wow you sound pissed well that’s cool, get that rage out on this page and I can see you’ve done a great job. Keep on writing.

[Lucid Smile]

wow, so much agression, Don't let people hold yuou back and push you down it's not good for you. I like it, Keep it up.

[bookworm]

you could do with out the bad words. but other than that nice