I get depressed whenever it's sunset time. I dunno why, do all people feel the same?
"I can't take it." I murmerred to myself. Being locked up in this room. I can't escape. My biggest doom. Day's end. When the sun starts to bend. The moon's turn to appear. My biggest fear. I clutch my chest. As if, I'm falling off a nest. Waiting, and waiting. For the sun to set. Waiting, Trying to let, The worst point of my day, Go away.
A) This is excellent. B) In my humble opinion, I think its somehow related to everyone's anxiety of death (arguably, if you follow Jung, all anxiety is death anxiety) and how we deal with it. Some people see death as a beautiful end to all the pain. Some people see death as a horrific finality. Some people just don't know and refuse to make assertions. While I was in Tarin Kowt, Afghanistan, the people there were almost desensitized to death. For them, it was all "Insh'Allah" and something they were all used to witnessing pretty frequently. For me personally, sunsets represent the eclipse of another day; another day wasted away, even if spent meaningfully. We've all got a number of limited days that we have on this earth, and regardless of whatever awaits us, its the biggest change we'll ever see, and we as a species despise life-altering change and the effects it has on our health. I think sunsets are beautiful, but they also make me morose and melancholy. But I think little in the world can match a sunset or a sunrise on the beach. It kind of gives us all a window into the extremely long durations of time that we cannot see from our normal minute perspectives. In respect to the greater scheme of things, our portions of time are measured in micrometers compared to the meters of geological epochs and the twelve kilometers of measurable time that we're aware of. Anyway, sorry to digress, a lovely piece.
This is interesting to me because it is an unusual topic for a poem. Usually poems praise the beauty of sunsets but this one shows fear. I would like to see you expand it a little bit and throw in some details about WHY it is fearful. Try to paint us a picture of that scary moon. Does it whisper bad memories? Does it call forth nightmares? We need the info! :)
It seems that you are trying to convey to me that when the sun sets it is a time that holds many insecurities and unsure desires, where it is not one way or the other, but both and a time for them, the unsureness of life to come to light.