7/14/2016
When I was fifteen years old I started to date the first boy to ever tell me he likes when I cry because of him. Being 15 years old and quite naive I didn't question anything he ever asked of me. I was going to be a sophomore in high school, he was a little older than me, 17, going on his senior year of high school. Let's call him Logan. Logan and I met through facebook mutual friends, weird, I know right. That should have been a give away right there this boy was up to no good. He was about 5' 7" with a slender build, he had the "Justin Bieber" hair cut and freckles on his face. He looked like such a nice boy, he dressed well, lived in a good house with a family who loves him, had nice friends and he just seemed like the type of guy I would bring around my family. Our first date was a little awkward, I don't even know if you'd consider it a date. From the day we met we didn't spend any time apart for about a month. We hung out everyday, we did fun things together. Everything was great for a month. After a month passed he started to become very possessive. "No boys in your phone contacts. Why did he add you on facebook? Who are you texting? Why didn't you answer my phone call (it being 2 am)? Do you think my cousin is hot? If you dont do ___ you dont really like me. I like seeing you cry over me its nice." Those are just some of the things he ever said to me, I could name off so many things. That was the first unhealthy "Relationship" I had ever been in.My mom would come into my room a lot, "why are you crying again?" I didn't tell her why for awhile because I knew in my head that it was wrong and this boy had to go, but the anxiety of being alone overwhelmed me into staying in a bad situation. I always have had a hard time at being alone. Eventually, I found out that he had a long term girlfriend of 2 years he was also with. Everything about me felt dirty. My soul, my heart, my mind..all just felt dirty, and black. He had burned me. The first person to ever burn me. And I let it happen because I was too scared to be alone.