Twister

Twister

Our love disappeared
Vanish in a thin air,
Feels like I'm broken
My heart cannot stand

My heart is broken,
The wind howling in sky
I see glass shattered
Every pieces that fall,
Every tear drops that fall

Make me feel frightened
Don't know what to do,
The twister come close
Aiming at my heart,

It's frozen outside
No skies, no sunlight
Only darkness around me
Everything falls apart

I see you slipping away
I'm stuck in a tornado,
Feel afraid inside of me
Never feel alone,

My memory faded away
I am hit by a lightning
Burning my own skin
I cried in pain and misery

Don't know what I do
I can hear a thunder noise,
Feel the beat in your heart
I see houses blown away

The sky seems hallow
My heart was smashed
Into every pieces,
Watch me blown away

Saying all my goodbye,
You make me feel hopeless
Why you let me go?
This pain torturing me,

The winds grew stronger
It will you rip you out of the ground
Your love has ended too soon

You have disappeared
I am like that twister in skies.

Reviews

[Jane P.]

Love the extended metaphor. The content is nothing special for poetry (a broken heart, etc), but the twister metaphor and imagery really make this poem special.

Just wanted to mention line one of the final stanza - 'disappeared' is spelt like that.

The rhetorical questions work well and the other elements of figurative language weave in subtly to the poem. It progresses well and has nice a nice pace.

I would also recommend adding some personification to the poem. It would make the storm more powerful, but again, totally up to you. It's great as is!

Good work - keep it up!

[Hiroshi Masters]

Thank you for reading I totally agree with you. Excuse the grammar because English isn't my first language but I'm love to listen and grow as a poet. Thank you for reviewing my poem. I never been into relationship and writing a break up poem is my comfort zone or at least good.

[Jane P.]

Haha no worries, you're really talented!

[Princess_of_Shadows]

nicely written :)
~Pincess of Shadows~