Cold Breeze

A Chapter by Hiral

Sometimes because she is a Mother....

“Mumma.uhh uhhh....mummma” a 3 years old boy was whispering at 2 AM in his bed with his usual nightmare. Silent face with deep eyes woke up by this whisper. She adjusted the blanket on the kid and her deep eyes started starring at killing silence of ceiling.

“Ohhh !! aaa umm,, how? Ha haa you kidding right? No no no i heard it wrong brother.. When will you stop bullying me ‘Shekhar’? See!!!!! just see!!!! Aum is sleeping now after harassing me enough, now please you don’t start it again!!!!”

A car... may be a truck struck body covered with white cloth was just put to the centre of main hall near to entry gate of an ancient bungalow.

A sudden breeze from open window filled room with scary numb cold.... Perhaps a window was remained open..Slow tired footsteps struggled to find a way to stop winter cold coming in. After few efforts an emotional stiff woman body was again laying back to its usual place of rest. Continuous hunger of searching forced eyes to stare at never answering floor.

“We want Vibha to get married again!!! She is too young to live alone.. May be a new relation can fill vibha and her son's life once again with blossom. “

Rolling eyes stopped for a moment and again started to observe a playful kid to make sure that he doesn't hurt himself. Suddenly a boy turned to those eyes with curiosity and asked “Mum...come here... Gufu is very sick.. I will become Doctor one day and cure him...”

A Shining blink emerged from restless eyes suddenly and disappeared with the last ray of setting Sun.

© 2013 Hiral

My Review

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Reviews

KeeD

Constructive criticism would be; the dialogue in this piece is very confusing and not sorted apart for the reader which in turn makes it very confusing and hard to understand. New characters are constantly introduced but at such random points that its so hard to understand who is who. As readers we need more detail to understand the story. I understand that you've tried to have a lot happening with multiple characters in one scenario but it was a bit too confusing and here and there for me. I do appreciate the write though and I somewhat get where the chapter is going, Don't let what I said dishearten you, take it with a grain of salt and see if you can find anything you can fix. Much respect, Kee.