Chopra Don't Lie, I'm Counting On You

1.

I drink tap-water and piss in the same sink.

I pretend to fall in love with a girl so I can f**k her.

I complain about injustice but do nothing about it.

I was a poet until my heart was shattered.

Now- what voice am I?

The voice of a drug addict who’s seen the spires of heaven

But is forced into tolerating people who wait for it inside cathedral guts all their lives.

The voice of the son who tore his family apart because he couldn’t keep from going insane.

The voice of the friend who shot himself in the back of the head and left the rest to lay cold roses on his mesh-wire grave.

The hush of a child on the cliff of suspense, years and colors away from this world,

Only to wake up one day, at the age of whatever, whenever,

Wondering when the f**k it all started to go wrong.

Yea�"right.  The day I pissed in the sink.

2.

Dear Proletariat:

 

Thank you for making my Kashmir suit, Audi, Carolina mansion, and roast and cabernet so that I may pretend unto death that I sit but a panty lace above you.

 

3.

Where do I go now, if from here?

There- corners wait with the reserve of a retired priest trying to blend in at a brothel.

And there- a tourniquet for my left arm and a syringe pregnant with heroin.

And there- colors of a slaughterhouse, swallowing the Cadmus sun on his way into exile out west,

Soil my spoiled milk toes and remind me.  It is autumn, tonight it will be winter.

 

4.

I am crazy because I am not capable of believing in war.

I am crazy because I could be Hitler.

I am crazy because I choose how I exist but am not in control.

I am crazy because I want to hang and you say no.

 

5.

If I hung tonight

I would feel better in the morning

But I can't

Because of what it would do to her

Though we will never be in love again.