There was once a choice that my sister didn’t take; it cost her her life.
For as long as I could remember my sister Mallorie and I had been well taken
care of by someone we’d never seen. The only person who took care of us was
“Mama” our maid, we called her such, but we all knew that she wasn’t our mother.
She had dark, muddy brown hair, tan skin, and was a chunky little thing;
Mallorie and I were rail thin with long red hair with natural highlights of
browns, golds and blacks.
All of the clothes that we’d been sent were beautiful; flowing gowns, made of
much better materials then two young girls should be wearing.
As we grew older, jewelry of precious stones and metals started trickling into
our jewelry boxes and finely made corsets and bodices graced out bodies above
our long skirts. I loved these vibrant colors and beautiful textures; my
beloved, and misguided, Mallorie preferred to spend her days skipping around the
house in bright white shifts until the hems grew black from the dirt, before too
long that was all she was sent, white shifts made of silk. I have to admit she
looked like an angel with her long, multi-colored hair, the reds, browns, gold,
and black were a stark contrast to her white dress.
Finally Nikka, our smokey black cat that’d been with us for as long as I could
remember; a darling stray whom we loved to pieces whenever he was at home.
Whenever we were small and sad he’d always leap up into bed with us, Mallorie
and I would cuddle him between us even as Mama squawked about how it wasn’t
proper. I’d never really seen another cat up close at the time, so I thought
nothing strange about his dark gray eyes that would stare right into our faces
like he knew what we were thinking. Little devil broke our hearts every time
that he would disappear for days on end, sometimes even weeks, but Nikka always
came back to us, twisting his long body around our legs, tickling our bare
ankles with his soft fur.
We were happy, we kept to ourselves mostly, but Mallorie and I would bloom like
flowers in spring whenever we got to go to town. Mama went to town seldom, once
maybe twice a month and we were never there long, but I loved going to town; the
people and places. I talked with everyone, or tried at least, even at a young
age many wouldn’t speak to me more then a few words. I didn’t think it mattered,
that little near-by village was the whole world to me, there couldn’t be
anything bigger in the whole of anywhere.
Mallorie and I always slept curled next to each other in our feather bed, the
bed just big enough to accommodate our small youthful bodies. I’d awake in the
middle of the night and listen for Mallorie’s breathing; I was always worried
about losing her. She was my sister, my reflection, my twin, we’d been together
always and leaving her at anytime hurt my heart. I felt like I had to protect
her, it seemed that I was so much older then her, when really I believe she was
born first. She’d always push me away with a laugh whenever I got too stifling,
so I merely shrugged it off and got as close to her as she’d allow…
That morning my feet hit the cool wood floor almost before my eyes were properly
opened. Mallorie groaned as the chilled morning breeze snuck under the blankets
and through her nightgown.
“Maeryn… what is it?” she groaned as she pulled the coverlet up over her head
and snuggled back down into the warmth of the bed. I shot the lump in the bed an
exasperated look and pulled my favorite burgundy corset out of my wardrobe to
accompany a long black skirt. I slipped in behind our changing screen before
stripping off my nightgown and starting to lace myself into my outfit for the
day. Nikka hadn’t been seen for days, it always felt weird not tripping over him
as I readied myself for the day.
“We’re going with Mama into town today remember?” I scolded her as I finished
tying off the front of my corset. (Every one was designed so one could put it on
without any help) She made a noise from under the covers and rolled over as I
sat down to lace my little slippers onto my feet.
“I don’t feel so good, I don’t think I’ll be going.” She did sound a little
hoarse, but it didn’t seem like it was that terrible. Not enough to be left
alone. I leaned across the bed and put my hand on her forehead, it did feel a
little warm.
“Do you want me to call Mama?” she just nodded weakly. I scampered silently
across the wood floor and stuck my head out our little door that led down the
stairs to the kitchen, “Mama? Can you come up here a minute?” I heard her loud
sigh and the slight bang of her setting her cooking spoon down on the table. She
grunted and groaned as she ascended the stairs and walked easily under the
doorway that Mallorie and I had to stoop to enter.
“What’s the trouble, child? Aren’t you well?” Mallorie gave her a small smile,
“I don’t think I’ll be accompanying you and Maeryn to town today, Mama.” I
didn’t like the little flush on Mallorie’s cheeks, it was too pink, we’d always
been pale little girls, Mama’s little dolls. Now it looked as though her cheeks
were on fire, yet I knew they weren’t. Mama turned back to me,
“I don’t think we should take the trip to town today, child, your sister’s ill.”
Mallorie sat straight up in bed, her pale green eyes wide.
“No! You have to go!” her eyes met mine, she knew that I was trying hard to push
back tears. I curse those tears now. I watched Mama bite her lip in indecision,
“I don’t know, child…” Mallorie broke her off,
“I’ll be fine! I’ll just lay here in bed and sleep it off. I won’t even be ill
anymore after you return.” My insides were doing all sorts of flip-flops, my
stomach was in knots at the thought of leaving my sister, and my heart was
soaring at the thought of going into town. I smiled lightly at my sister, even
though I didn’t like how small she looked laying there against the white of the
bed clothes.
“I’ll bring you home a present, ‘orie.” I told her tenderly, taking her thin
hand into mine and holding it.
“Can I have a circlet?” I looked at her strangely, “a beaded thing to put around
my head. A purple one.” Personally I didn’t know what on earth she was talking
about, but I had enough to go on that I could try to find it.
“I’ll do my best.” I promised her; soon after, we left.
As much as I loved it in town, the day flew by in a blur; it took forever but I
finally located a purple beaded circlet for Mallorie. I felt that the dark
amethyst color would look splendid against her beautiful hair. I hurried back
through the woods, eager to get back and show her what I’d found; Mama was
huffing and puffing behind me. The day was just slightly overcast and a breeze
blew my hair back from my face, I was smiling brightly at the thought of the
look of joy on Mallorie’s face.
Suddenly I stopped, I took another deep breath through my nose; I smelled smoke.
Smoke and other, underlying smells that I couldn’t identify. I shot Mama a
terrified look,
“Mallorie!” what if our house had caught fire while she’d been asleep? My
stomach had tied itself in knots as I started to run rocks and thorns cut
through my thin slippers, but I forced myself forward. I was closer now; I heard
screams, high pained screams. “Mallorie!” I screamed.
Finally I reached the tiny clearing that held our home; windows were smashed,
the front door hung half off its hinges and open. My eyes slid to our front yard
and screamed again, my brain started to just shut down.
Why was Mallorie standing in the middle of that fire?
Why was she bound to that pole?
Then my brain caught up with what I was seeing, the townspeople’s standoffish
behavior, the glares I barely noticed, it all clicked together in my head. They
thought we were witches or some other nonsense they’d probably come here today,
after we left. Finding only my poor Mallorie, sick abed, they’d destroyed the
house and set her to burn.
I didn’t bother trying to reason with myself, I lunged at the flames and fell
short. I scrambled on my hands and knees, trying to reach my sister, my
Mallorie; I didn’t like that she’d fallen silent. I gave one more desperate leap
for the flames; Mama’s wails grew to an almost deafening degree behind me.
I plunged my hands into the flames, reaching for Mallorie’s burning gown, not
realizing the stupidity of my actions; I felt the searing heat of the flames on
my face and it tore tears from my eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know what was
happening, there were large strong arms around my middle, dragging me back from
the heat, away from Mallorie. I let out a scream and I struggled, kicking and
scratching at my captor, trying to reach my sister. I caught a sight of ebony
hair over my shoulder as I heard a horrible sound, a tortured cry that seemed
more animal then human, a deeply masculine tone. I clapped my hands over my
ears, trying to stop the sounds the screams of the stranger and the ones I
didn’t realize were mine. Stop the crackling of the wood as it burned itself
out, stop the smell of charred meat and hair as the corpse of what was once my
beloved sister, my twin, fell deep into the flames.
I knew no more.
When I finally awoke I didn’t open my eyes right away; I was in a cool place, a
safe place. I was sure that Mallorie had risen before me and was now helping
Mama with breakfast. I wanted a few minutes alone with myself before I went to
help, why do my hands hurt so badly? I tried to flex my fingers, only to find
them constricted. My eyes flew open and I looked down at my hands, they were
bound together with long strips of white bandage.
The skin emerging from beneath the bandage was gray with smoke and dirt. With
difficulty I threw the blankets aside and I stood, wobbling a little at first as
though I were recovering from a fever.
I didn’t recognize the room I was in, yet why I was here instead of at home
wasn’t what worried me right now. What worried me was where Mallorie was and why
my hands were bandaged and dirty as they were. I took a few hesitant steps away
from the bed and approached a full-length mirror against one wall.
I looked myself up and down and gasped; my clothes were ripped and filthy, all
of my skin was a dirty smoke color. There were two locks of my hair that hung
down and curled around to meet just under my mouth, the ends look singed.
Finally the reality of what had happened to my sister hit me hard, my knees
buckled and I feel to the floor. Sobs tearing their way from my sore throat as I
covered my face with my bandaged hands and just sat in this strange room and
sobbed over the loss of my beloved Mallorie.
I don’t know how long it was that I lay there, I’d stopped crying a while ago.
My legs beneath me were numb and cold, but I didn’t care. I forced myself to my
feet, my body feeling heavier then it ever had before. I took a deep breath in
an attempt to get better control over myself, I glanced in the mirror and rubbed
my face with my bandaged hands, trying to repel the redness that had invaded my
pallor. I finally took a good look around me, the bed I’d awakened on was large,
the bedclothes dark and non-discript with wispy curtains tied back to the posts.
Against the wall next to the only window was a small table that held a basin and
pitcher.
Dangling from the handle of the pitcher was the circlet that I’d bought for
Mallorie earlier.
My eyes threatened to water again as I reached forward and stroked the cool
amethyst beads with the tips of my fingers. Without thinking really about what I
was doing, I took the piece of jewelry from it’s perch and slipped the sides
around my head, under my hair. I shook my head a little to make sure that it
wouldn’t slip down and look foolish, the little bead on the front slapped back
and forth, tickling me slightly.
I took another deep breath and let it out in a long, slow sigh. On bare feet I
walked across the stones and pulled on the huge wooden door, opening it just
enough to admit me into the hallway. The hallway was dark, not pitch black, but
it took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to it. I glanced back at the door
behind me as I pushed it closed with my back; there was a large picture of a sun
carved into the wood.
I was barely halfway down the hall when I met someone coming from the other
direction. She was not quite as tall as I was; her pretty brown hair was drawn
up into a bun at the top of her head. She had bright gray eyes that brightened
when she saw me,
“Hello child, good afternoon.” I dipped a tiny curtsy and smiled as inside I
puzzled on why she was calling me child, she barely looked any older then I was.
She laughed and clapped her hands up close to her face, as if trying to hide her
smile. A little metal pendent jumped on her chest when she did this, there was a
little sun carved into it, just like the one that was carved into most of the
doors I’d passed.
“Come child, he’s waiting for you.”
“Who is?”
“Nikademus.”
“Who is Nikademus?” She just laughed and turned back the way she’d come,
expecting me to follow. For a brief moment I entertained the idea of not going,
of just heading back to the other room and attempting to figure out where I was.
This thought didn’t last long and I had to run a bit to catch up with her. “What
is your name?” I asked hesitantly, I could tell that she was highborn in some
way and didn’t want to offend the first person I’d met here.
“Keisha.” She answered; still sounding amused with me. Inwardly I snarled, I
couldn’t really keep up with this charade. I was a curious and confrontational
person, this wasn’t going to work. My good intentions evaporated and anger
seeped into the empty spaces they left.
“What is so damn funny?” I cried, stopping dead in the middle of the hall,
Keisha stopped a few steps ahead of me, turned, and stared at my face,
surprised.
“I do not know what you’re talking about, child…”
“Stop it with the child nonsense! You are not much older then I, so please let
it alone!” the laughing smile disappeared, there was no expression on her face
for a moment, but it was soon replaced with a sadder smile, a cold smile.
“You are right chi…” she caught herself, “my dear, please accept my apologies.”
I nodded, immediately feeling guilty for snapping at her. “Please follow me…” I
did.
Finally we reached another wooden door, it didn’t look much different then any
of the others except that instead of a sun craved into the door, there was a
tree in full bloom. Keisha knocked politely, I didn’t hear a thing but she
opened the door as though she did and ushered me inside. I slipped through, my
heart suddenly beating hard in my chest, my eyes traced up the stone floor and
finally looked up at the large table, almost a desk with a man sitting behind
it.
He was a tall, lithe man with unbound, ebony hair that nearly reached his
elbows. He wore an off-white undershirt with a blood red jerkin, black breeches
bled seamlessly into knee-high black boots. He looked up at me with dark eyes; I
felt that I’d seen them before, those gray irises.
“Maeryn.” He stood, taller by far then I, but his voice was soft and welcoming.
He opened his arms to me as if to embrace me, but I hung back. Smiling coyly at
me he stepped around to the front of his desk and leaned against it. When he
crossed his arms the ruffle on his sleeves fell and covered half his long hands.
His skin had an almost gray pallor and he looked too thin.
“Nikademus?” he laughed. Why does everyone here seem to think I’m so amusing? I
scowled, and his laughter died away as his eyes bore into me.
“You have my sincerest condolences, Maeryn, I loved your sister as you do.
Mallorie will be greatly missed.” I was floored, I stared blankly at him, then
took a few steps forward, my bare feet not making a sound on the stones as I
took a better look at his eyes. They were still gray yes, but I noticed the
small flecks off all different colors, green and blue, maybe even violet
glittering there.
“How do you know my sister? Or me for that matter. What are you?” who are you? I
thought to myself, I wanted to say who are you.
“Your father was a friend of mine, not a close friend mind you, but a loyal
companion.” I put a hand to my forehead and squeezed my eyes shut,
“What are you talking about? I don’t understand.” Those gray eyes just kept
staring at me,
“I fear I’m over-indulging you at the moment. Know that you are safe here, for
the time being, and that I welcome you.” He came forward and rested a hand on my
cheek, his skin was soft and warm against my grime covered flesh. “Come, I’ll
have a bath drawn for you and new clothes brought. Do you like the colors you’re
wearing?”
“Wait! Where’s Mama?” I realized that she wouldn’t have left me, not with
strangers. Nikademus froze a little, his eyes got colder,
“Amiline has been sent back to her family. Her job has been finished and has
failed one of her charges.” I felt fresh tears welling up in my eyes; Mama had
been assigned to us? We were merely her charges? Did she even love us?
Nikademus pulled me close to him, embracing me, not the air this time, and lay a
kiss on my forehead. With one soft thumb he brushed the rouge tear from under my
eye before it even really had a chance to fall. “Do not cry, Maeryn, we did not
take her away from you, she is merely recovering. I am enraged that she left her
sister alone, but I would not do a thing because nothing I could devise would
hurt her anymore then she is hurting herself. She is safe with her family and
will come to you when she is well again.” He took my hand and started for the
door, nearly pulling me along with him.
I bit my bottom lip in worry; something I’d always done as a child, usually
worrying so hard that I’d draw blood. I wanted to just be able to follow
Nikademus anywhere; part of me wanted to trust him, the Mallorie part of me
wanted to trust him. I was all alone and he seemed to know about me, about
Mallorie. I wanted to talk to someone about Mallorie, wanted to remember her
with someone…
I sighed deeply and followed meekly behind him.
Sometime later I was bathed and wearing a new set of clothes, a dark red corset
with complicated swirls of black embedded into it and another black skirt with
two soft petticoats beneath it. One nice lady had put most of my hair up in a
complicated bun on top of my head; she’d let the burned locks hang down in front
of my face. My hands had been rebandaged and my scratched feet treated; even the
little silk slippers they’d had me try on had hurt the deep scratches so I was
still barefoot.
With vague directions I was headed for the kitchens, my stomach had rumbled in
hunger loud enough for the maid helping me dress to hear and she’d sent me off
with a laugh. I took a deep breath as the thick scent of warm bread filled the
air. I held it in as long as I could, then let it out with a smile. My stomach
cramped horribly then snarled its opinion sharply through the stillness of the
hall.
Suddenly a head and shoulders popped out from a door in the wall,
“Looking for us, dear?” she asked, I felt my cheeks flush at the thought that my
stomach had been that loud that she’d heard it through the door.
“T-the kitchen?” I asked softly.
“Yes, we’re just getting the left-overs back from upstairs now. It’s all still
warm if you’re interested.” My stomach growled again, she laughed; I also heard
laughter coming from inside the room as well. I resisted the urge to cover my
face with my hands and just followed the woman through the door, following the
warm, thick smells of food.
Within a few minutes I was sitting at a clean wooden table with a large bowl of
stew in front of me, a spoon in my hand. Somewhere between my third bowl of stew
and my fifth hunk of bread the three ladies in the kitchen sort of forgot I was
sitting there. With thick steam rising from pots on the stove and the clattering
of people coming in and out, I got lost in the shuffle.
“That was the girl?” one of them whispered to the one with gray hair,
“Yes, Master Nikademus’ special project, her and her twin sister.”
“Where’s her sister?” a second woman whispered, breaking into the conversation,
“I heard that the locals burned her because they thought the three of them were
witches.” I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach, I rested my bread down on
the table and sunk down to the floor as quietly as I could. Apparently it wasn’t
quietly enough because they looked around as if they’d heard something and
noticed my skirt pooled under me across the stone floor. The eldest one clapped
her hands over her mouth and looked at me in horror, “Child! I apologize, I
didn’t realize you were still here. Oh oh… dear me…” she clutched her hands over
her heart and the three of them gave me such a look of pity that I felt sick
again. With a deep breath I drew myself up to my feet and curtsied at them,
“Thank you, ladies, for the delicious meal.” Without another word I straightened
myself again and left.
I just walked, I didn’t know where I was going or who these people were who were
staring at me. I ignored them all, I just tried to keep tears off my face, out
of my eyes. Finally I came to a hall where there were no people, only art,
statues and paintings; it was here that I threw myself to the ground behind one
marble statue of a large tiger that I knew would hide me. I huddled myself under
the open window and burst into fresh tears. I kept my sobs as quiet as possible,
biting my lip so hard that blood mingled with the tears on my face and I found
that I just couldn’t stop.
My Mallorie, a witch? What a crock! Harsh bitter lies by people who would barely
even look at us.
It took a few gasping breaths before the urge to vomit subsided, I rested my
head against the cold stone and let the warm breeze from the window play over my
tears, making them cool. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the world. As
the silence of the hallway pressed in around my sorrow, I must have dozed off
from exhaustion.
Sometime later I awoke to something soft and warm stoking my face. I felt a
small smile creep to my face and without opening my eyes, I leaned into the
caress. A warm rumble of laughter rolled across the air into my ears, with the
same warmth the voice whispered my name,
“Maeryn…” silly little smile still on my face, I lazily opened my eyes;
jewel-flecked gray eyes smiled back at me.
“Nikademus?” I whispered my voice harsh from my prior sobs. He brushed the
shortened pieces of my hair away from my face,
“What has sorrowed you, love?”
“Do you know what they did to Mallorie?” sadness bled into his gaze as he nodded
his head,
“You two were perfect…I spent so much time to make sure you were happy…whenever
I left you it killed me…” I looked up at him curiously,
“But… Nikademus… I’ve…” then it dawned on me, “Nikka?” he gave me a small smile,
“I love it when you call me that.” He started to rise, and took one of my small
hands in his, “come, there’s more places of comfort then a stone floor.” He
helped me to my feet and settled his arm with comfortable tightness around my
waist. He leaned in and whispered my name in my ear, then kissed my cheek
tenderly. I felt a thrill go through me when his lips brushed my skin. “What do
you desire to do, Maeryn?” I could tell that there was something specific that
he wanted me to say, but I didn’t know what it was; so I simply said what I
really wished to do,
“I wish to discuss things, Mallorie, my life; most importantly, you.” He sighed
deeply, a saw a brief crack in his ego-inflated manner; I didn’t know what he
wanted so I had answered his question to the best of my ability. Without another
word he led me down the hall, his originally icy demeanor warming by the first
set of doors.
Nikademus smiled wanly as he yanked open the wooden door that he’d pulled me to
a stop in front of. I caught the barest glimpse of a tree in full bloom carved
deep into the wood before he’d moved it aside and ushered me in.
Once inside the whole rush of words I’d been thinking during our walk died on my
tongue; this room was so beautiful, elegant, that it had rendered me speechless.
The high windows on two walls were made of panes of stained glass, casting the
whole room in a muted rainbow of color; I caught sight of a balcony on the other
side of one of the windows.
One corner of the room was shrouded around with half opaque white curtains that
were pulled aside to revel a sort of indentation in the floor, filled with silks
and furs. There were paintings and tapestries that nearly covered the walls,
scenes of what looked like battles and some of wild animals. One made me pause,
it wasn’t the largest, or the busiest, but I couldn’t look away for a moment.
The same tree that I’d glimpsed on the chamber door had rooted itself deep into
a hill, while a beautiful crescent moon hung in the night sky behind it. Small,
on the crest of the hill, a lighted space, the barest sliver of sun peeked out,
much like the one that had been carved on my door and on the pendent around
Keisha’s neck.
Nikademus looked tired as he latched the door and slumped into a vaguely
throne-like chair near the center of the room, before one of the great stone
windows. He gestured and I settled myself on a cushion that would have been at
his feet had they not been stretched into the middle of the room. We were both
silent for a long time.
“We buried your sister this morning.” Nikademus said suddenly, startling me out
of my silent stupor.
“What?”
“Mallorie, we buried her this morning. She is in our cemetery along side your
father.” My head reeled for a moment; I breathed the word back at him,
“Father?” he gave me that wane smile again.
“Yes, your father was a servant here, and the most trusted of my companions.” I
could barely breath, did I dare hope?
“My mother?” Nikademus’s gaze was held in place by his memories, he never looked
at me and I considered myself lucky that he still continued to speak.
“She was a minor noble, a Daughter of Earth, a lovely lady whom your father
doted upon. When the two of you were a year old, she took you both on a holiday
to visit her family. I needed your father here, for some insignificant reason
that I can’t even remember.
“There was a raid on the house, your father was killed defending me. I called
your mother home immediately, but didn’t give her the reason. She burst into
this very room, nearly in hysterics already. When I told her, she killed herself
in grief before I could stop her. She wished to join your father in Theaphtur.”
I sighed deeply; though what had happened was tragic, I couldn’t truly mourn
their passing because I didn’t know them, they’d never been a real part of my
life or upbringing. Mallorie was my concern; Mallorie’d been with me my whole
life.
“Why did they burn my sister?” I asked bluntly. Nikademus rubbed his face and
took a deep breath.
“I fear that I supplied for you both too richly. Three women living alone in the
woods, rarely to be seen? With all of your jewels and finery, your complete lack
of fear or social rules, I’m afraid the townspeople panicked, thinking you
unholy demons. Bring humans, and simple, they feel that all things different
should be killed and fire is a purifier.” I felt a deep rage start building
inside my stomach and up through my chest. My fingers clenched into firsts, my
nails biting into my palms; I felt thick, warm blood start to drip out from
under my nails.
“You mean to tell me that my sister was killed for jealousy, spite? They tore
her from her bed and burned her alive on the front lawn because of fear!” my
voice was coming out in a scream, I stood and faced Nikademus, blood from my
hands starting to form small pools at my feet as they shook. Nikademus gave me a
hard look,
“Never underestimate the power of fear, Maeryn, never. Fear is a powerful
master, my dear-heart; it can turn the strongest heroes into whimpering
children. No matter what the human priest’s preach, Fear is the root of all
evil, nothing else.” Nikademus’s voice seeped into my horrified brain, they
voiced over Mallorie’s screams in my head. My imagination filled in the parts of
her abduction I’d never seen; suddenly my knees grew weak and I just collapsed.
Nikademus caught me before my head hit the ground; he lay my head in his lap and
stroked my hair. I didn’t cry this time, I think my eyes had cried themselves
out for a time, but I still didn’t move my head from his lap. I just let down
the barriers in my mind and allowed all my thoughts wash over me. When the harsh
thoughts of Mallorie surfaced, I pushed them back, deep into my mind. Suddenly a
little thought of Nikademus floated to the top like a little bubble.
I was safe here.
Nikademus claimed that he’d been caring for me and my sister for years and that
he could turn into the cat that had been our pet for as long as I could
remember.
I was in a strange place with people that I didn’t know.