Use Me and Leave

You were the one guy I thought wouldn't hurt me,

But how could you just use me like that, 

Yet, you don’t even care?

You just left me there.

In a world where my heart was broken and all I could feel was the pain.

You didn’t even tell him the truth.

All you wanted to do was lie,

And you just wasted everyone’s time.

I cried so many times because you took it to far.

No one understands what I have been through,

And not even do you care.

I’m just another girl to you.

Just a b***h you throw around.

Now, guys think I’m easy, and you were there to prove them all right.

I guess this may have been a test;

Someone sent me to see…

If I would pass or fail…

As you can see I failed miserably.

I don’t care anymore,

And I have lost feeling in my body.

I’m just living to die in this world now.

See what you have done to me…

I’m wasting away here.

Heart broken because of what we did.

I lost a love,

And even a friend.

When you lost nothing.

I wasted my time on you.

When I should have been with another.

Someone who really cared, and didn’t just want one thing.

That saw me for who I was and not some hoe you talk to when needed,

But instead I wasted my time on you and look where this ended.

I’m sitting here in this room, while tears just seem to stream down the face that you didn’t even care about.

When your just laughing it up with the person I love.

With the only one who matter to me.

When will this end?

Or will it never stop?

Time only seems to make things worse.

How could things get this bad?

And why am I just wasting away?

I can’t do it anymore.

I can’t lose another.

You led me to this point,

And I’m at my whit’s end.

Trying to find away to take back what happened.

One day will it go again

Or will I live this nightmare again?

 

Author's Note

Ignore grammer problems and structure. What do you think about the emotion that the poem is giving off to the reader?

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

You wish to show emotion ?

When your reader writes, telling you how much
he cares, how terrible he feels to see you in this
state and tries to dry your tears, then you have shown
emotion.
When the reader writes, deeply sympathetic and wondering
how you feel then you have touched him, he has felt your
emotion.

This poem did not pull me in, it did not inspire sympathy and
it would have, I think, if the writer had genuinely experienced
those feelings as she wrote.

The answer:
Write what you are feeling, write what is foremost in your mind.
write about the thing that has you upset, or mad about someone,
or heartbroken and write about what you are feeling, not just
thoughts.

I have taken space here that I would not have taken ordinarily and
the reason is; you show great promise, your writing is clean ,
bright and intelligent----please write more, the more you write
the more you will feel your subject.

Good luck, we wait and watch, reading you at every opportunity.

---- Eagle Cruagh

[Stephanie]

I think you showed your emotions clearly and openly, and I wonder what happened to make you feel so betrayed and hurt. I think some more subtle details would help to make this even more poignant.
Overall, I thought it was really good.

[Kiddx]

I can't do it anymore.
I can't lose another.
You led me to this point,
And I'm at my whit's end.
Trying to find away to take back what happened.
One day will it go again
Or will I live this nightmare again?


I love your ending here, I can feel the emotion put into this and the pain.

[Lovesleftovers]

Your pain and anguish are open and raw in your poem. You did an excellent job conveying your emotions! Keep writing!

[After the Blackbird Sin..]

You're shoving this emotion at me, but not giving me a reason to feel it. I have no idea what happened to you other than a generic my-boyfriend-dumped-me story. Give me details and images.

[Fern]

The emotion is very strong, easily felt. A very intense, deep poem.

Good work.