Trying Some Senryu Writing

First time ever writing a senryu.

Once I had a dream
I feared losing the feeling
So I did not wake

My self-consciousness
Made me forget everything
Spoiled the feeling

After I woke up
All that lingered was regret,
That I had slept in

Then I remembered
I dreamt I had lost something
Hidden in my mind

Author's Note

Be kind, I am just learning this form. Some may be zappai instead of senryu!

Reviews

[Traci]

You continue to amaze me with your growth as an artist, dear friend. For your first attempt at Senryu I am impressed. Whether a few lines or many you write with such emotional depth, making it easy to connect with your beautiful words. Very well done :)

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I really appreciate the encouragement! I am not sure I have gotten the senryu form down, but I think I like it!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Wow! It's like a string of emotional senryus...each one links to the next, creating an amazing poem...

Well done, Robert!~xoxo~

I believe you have a grasp on the art, no doubt... ;)

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I really appreciate your encouragement! I am trying to do experimental stuff and not just what feels comfortable!

[Tina Louise UK]

I've felt like that at times...loved your first attempt at a Senryu...great job :) x

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Thank you, but of course I hope to keep adding to it. I am not sure where it is going. I am hoping to keep each individual one as roughly following the senryu format as I can, but have them all connected as well...