Oblivion

For once I hope this needs no explanation. It is from just today, brand new.

I've spent so many years in Oblivion
My hiding place
My refuge
My Dionysian inner sanctum

This place of darkness
Not of comfort
But of release
Of extinction

To die, just a little
And return, like Lazarus
To spend a night in the pit
And not remember it

A closing of the mind
Denial of vulnerability
Cessation of existence
Or near as living beings come

The pause before acceptance
The space between awake and asleep
The only answer to heartbreak
A break from guilt

I sit in this bomb shelter
Until the darkness passes
I wait here with my eyes closed
Until the darkness passes

Reviews

[Robbie~xoxo~]

"Oblivion"... I know that place, Robert...

You create a vivid vision of solitary confinement... how is it, that the most
brilliant minds go into this realm?... I often wonder, if we will ever truly know...

Such a visceral touch... into your mind...

Well penned, R!! :)

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Thanks so much, Robbie!! I know why the wisest of us head into oblivion...We know, all too well, that there is no escape from life -at least not for those who want the option of staying alive- so we just "check out" whatever way we can for short breaks. There really is bliss in ignorance. The smarter you are, the more you realize there are issues to be addressed. The more issues you can see, the less you alone can solve -as a percentage- so you are more and more troubled by this unless you can justify it for yourself. I don't actually approve of oblivion. I just was making a comment that it is a place many of us go. I have spent probably more years (collectively) than I would ever have wanted to in that state, but not really because of escapism. I found myself in oblivion because I couldn't find what more there was to strive for. The avenues seemed closed. The only refuge from pure frustration of your life goals is ALSO oblivion. I know it is NOT productive to go there, but I also know that it is a relief and a release. It is a necessary evil at times. Almost like a lobotomy, but more temporary.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I know what you mean! lol
I have been there... and this is truly on point, Robert!
You amaze me! Thank you for sharing, my sweet friend!~xoxo~:)

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Wow, your comments amaze me too! Thanks and I will keep adding to the collection!! I am working on a couple old ones that I am reworking which I will post as soon as I feel like they have gotten to enough of a level of completion I can accept them being posted...

[Justine]

I have standing reservation at the Oblivion Hotel. I like the darkness and the anonymity there, and remember without darkness, how can we see the beauty of light when it comes? Great write here my friend and certainly something I can relate to. That "pause" as you describe it, almost like being in a cocoon before we emerge transformed. Your writing shows emotional depth and insight, while your talent allows that to become word so that others can understand, learn and share. JJ :)

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Wow, your review is a mirror on myself that somehow makes me look much more handsome than I feel like I do deep down!! I think in my writing I shine out more brightly than in my everyday life. I do very much hope I can bring those emotions from the depths of my soul to the permanence of the word, so that those things we all think and feel can have voice and monuments dedicated to them. It is surely flattering what you say, even if it is NOT flattery!! Thank you!!

[My Favorite Writer !]

I can relate to every word of your poem. Since it seems it all about my life. I just had a breakup and I feel as if I am in this darkness, I'm so much in to it that I forgot what the world outside it looks like.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I love that you got that from this, Mr. Shubham! I also just experienced a major break up. It was life-changing. Interestingly I had many versions of this poem, but the reason I arrived at this one was that I started out writing about a friend who just got a divorce, and is hurting. Then I realized all the ways oblivion is not bad. It really was an interesting process for me to see it.

[My Favorite Writer !]

I hope, it won't be bad for me too. I wish everything goes back well.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I believe it will. You were whole before you met her, don't forget my friend. You will be whole again.

[Poetic Beauty]

Depression can be a bit daunting. There are times when it is inner turmoil that causes and there are times when we just have this feeling and try to hide it. There are great descriptions of being in this overwhelming vastness of nothingness that won't let go. I could feel the sorrow in this piece.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Thank you very much for seeing it! I have perhaps more to write, I am not sure. I feel like this is almost there, but do you have any suggestions?I I ask because I have more written but which is not here. I didn't want to over do it. Over cook it...

[Poetic Beauty]

You cold add more but I would leave the last stanza at the end of the piece or leave it as it is. That is the beauty of poetry, it is yours to do what you want with.

[Poetic Beauty]

opps could

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Do you know Robert, how much I had talks to the one and only Greek god of liquor? not that I am an alcoholic, more in the sense of, being in a meditative state, and talk to him, like he's an adonis of another world... an idyllic world, (I even wrote about that)... I have written about Dionysos... a several times. You've saw the pictures of Greece, and how the people live, they are rich in mind, and in liquor, but all yin yang, and balanced, I think there is a bridge between the two parallel worlds, some great artists, only do functionate on a drug, others are gifted with doing it, transmitting to other worlds, by high senses. Here you write out of yourself, not even sure if you write about yourself, maybe for another? anyhow, it has a feeling of care, and compassion. I like that. You are a great person, and think beyond some edges, others can see. :) Smiling.

- Elisa

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

You are quite right that I write about another! Again showing off your amazing insight!! I wrote this for a friend who is having a hard time right now, and who is not a stranger to the company of Bacchus at the moment. I don't blame him, only wait eagerly for his return!

I see... let's hope all turns out well for him, and he returns soon... thanks for writing this. And you're very welcome, it's always my pleasure. :)

[emmajoy]

Such a sadness of words, less a denial of vulnerability, more an exposure of fragility ..

We all need places, people, thoughts, escape .. life is a killer, it scars the human spirit, that is, between bringing light longside sweet touches. Tis often difficult to find that middle ground where the mind frees itself enough to think straight for and about self and other people. There most definitely is that time before waking when darkness becomes four walls gradually closing in, closer and closer and we have to fight to be. Once awake, we then need to somehow slide into a sanity of our own making. Maybe.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Tis true, tis true! It seems I am surrounded and bounded by sorrow lately. A coworker of mine was talking to me about his recent divorce, which made me think of my own recent break up and my brother's recent divorce. This is a poem making some sense of all that. I have really been learning and benefitting from people's comments on here though! This was originally a poem for my coworker, imploring him to stop drinking. Oddly though, in writing what I understood of oblivion I began to see the positives of it. I see it as a part of life now, a part of the balance of yin and yang. Oblivion is the part of happiness that is sad or the part of sadness that is happy. I'm not sure which. What people here taught me was that oblivion is more than a bender where you drink yourself to sleep, it is also a positive rest measure in the song of life.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

felt Plath-like...too bad she couldn't last that "pause before the acceptance"

and ride out the storm "until the darkness passes" or in her case passed, though it never did.

a bomb shelter of the heart and mind...a space to break from guilt...some of us can never quite
have space enough.

nicely written piece.

jacob

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Thanks so much, Jacob!! I love the comparison to Plath!! I try whenever I can to be above gender in my poetry. Such comparisons as this make me happy I may be at least partially able to do that! I do wish Plath had accepted herself. We are all tortured artist types on here it seems, but some can't break the cycle of torture as well as others. I just allow myself the amount of torturing myself I need to do to get where I know I need to be. I have fluctuated over my life with having stronger and weaker control over my emotions. What I have found is that you need to allow yourself to go a little crazy and be emotional at times. It is healthy for the soul. Having the capability of control is key though as well. I don't know if I have really elaborated the space between the last stanza and the rest though...Does this feel complete? I have written more verses but I hold them in reserve.

[Lydia Shutter]

There are times in life we all need to crawl into our shells....to be like the turtle. It is safe in this place....a place where no one can hurt you and you can just be at semi sort of peace. Deeply emotional words...and I especially liked the references to Greek mythology. Lydi**

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Thank you so much, Lydi! I like being able to steal a word here or there from the Greeks because there can be so much behind it. I also was meaning to imply that bacchanalia that inspires oblivion without saying it outright. I have had a lot of deep, hurtful emotions lately, but this was a revelation...The revelation that I don't really want oblivion anymore. I am not sure I know how to communicate it here though. I am not completely sure I am done.

[Lydia Shutter]

Realizing what you want is winning the battle....kudos to you!

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Thank you!! Knowing where to stop is important too, and you are helping me with that!

[Traci]

No explanation necessary, and by far one of your best, soulful pieces, Robby.
I resonate greatly with this piece, especially the line "the pause before acceptance."
As Jack stated, we do need places like this, a break from all existence, until the darkness passes.
You have painted a lovely picture in my mind...well done, my friend.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Thank you so much!! I am thinking of using that line you have both said: Until the darkness passes! That is really helpful and I think it really is good!!! I thank you greatly!! I think this place has really been an amazing place lately for me to go back and forth on poems and really get things to work!!! I love that you can see what I am getting at here so well!!

[Jack...]

We all need these places from time to time...whether it be a quiet room, a grove of shadowed trees or somewhere in our mind as our exterior shuts down until the darkness passes. This was very cool, very deep and so much fun to read.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Thank you very much, Jack!! I feel like this is ALMOST done...but there were issues I had with it. I have several versions. I am very glad you could see where I am coming from though, this first shot!

[Jack...]

My pleasure...I know this feeling well.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I somewhat wish I didn't know it so well...I don't know quite how to express that though.

[Jack...]

I believe your poem did exactly that. You show us this sanctuary in all of it darkness. Your words leads us on a path through it and out of it, for that is certainly where you seem to want to be. You express this feeling well, but even more so, the fact that you would rather not.