Rokoku

A newly created poem taking shape right here in the Writer's Cafe!!

Cool silence flowing
One drop for each day
Time slowly going
Keeping watch while we play

By sunlight or moonlight
Hours vary in lengths
Racing by out of sight
Riddles fit for a sphinx

Counting down, not to one
Rabbit catches Monkey
But when you're without sun
Rooster struts to set Tiger free

Hisashige Tanaka's masterpiece
The Man-nen Dokei
Proves wonders never cease
In well-built wadokei

Give me a well-built rokoku
To go with the flow of time
Not a ticking mechanical screw
Counting up to a chime

Author's Note

There will certainly have to be more versions of this before the end. It is very rough here. I wonder how many people know what a Rokoku is! Look up Japanese Water Clocks if you are interested. Here is some information I find fascinating: http://museum.seiko.co.jp/en/knowledge/index.html

Reviews

[Omar Fendri]

How elegant... and how swift your words flow...
The race against time is an everlasting story we are all obliged to live, a wayward fight...
I adore how it is all related to water: flow, drop and the Rokoku itself... and how you related silence to raindrops.
The last stanza is the icing in the cake.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Thank you for your appreciation, Omar! I think slowly this will become a better and better poem as well. Right now I am complimented you see it as an elegant mechanism. I believe the escapement will be further honed by my slight changes to come. I guess this is one method I use to write, taking little bits from here or there.

[Tina Louise UK]

Never heard of a Japanese Water Clocks...fascinating...I love poems about time, really enjoyed this one, beautifully done :) x

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Thank you so much...I want to improve on so many of my poems. This is one of my weaker ones, I think, but I do believe there is something to be said on this theme! I love the idea of writing about time. My father used to write poetry too, and one of my favorites of his is a poem about time he read me a few times. Ironically I cannot FIND any copies of his poetry! I can only hope that eventually I can figure out where he put his folder of poems before he passed away...It has been a few years now, and I have lost his knowing way of discussing poems with me. We were estranged long before he died, so I only had the opportunity to speak of poems with him a few times. Now I wish I had given myself more opportunities!

[Tina Louise UK]

You are too hard on yourself, it's a perfect piece. Sorry to hear about your dad x

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Ah, you are so kind to me! My father passing...It was a long and drawn out thing...A true yin and yang experience. I loved my father, but for many in my family he represented all the issues of the past. When he was gone the many factions of my family had nothing left to fight about and it has been a new golden age in a sense. It actually has been hard for my family to realize that since he is gone there is nothing left to fight about...There is a long history, really about a century's worth (not being hyperbolic at all) and my siblings and I have agreed it ends with us. It wasn't my father's fault, but because he represented the long history he was the source of a great deal of resentment. Now it is up to my family to unify without the troubles of the past. I don't mean to be so vague, but there is a lot I could fill you in on...What does this have to do with Japanese Water Clocks?! Well, symbolically a lot, really! They are a splendid metaphor, I think! They symbolize the FLOW of time. If you ever go to the British Museum then you may be able to see the same collection of ancient Japanese Water Clocks which I saw! It was incredible. They are some of the most amazing mechanical contraptions I have ever seen. Thank you for your appreciation of this piece. I would like to work more on it, but I don't know what to change. I am rather hard on myself, but unlike most of the other poems on this site, this is an example of one that I have not really altered since I wrote it. Generally I feel more confident when I work on something over the course of a few viewings...

[Tina Louise UK]

Wish I had a time machine sometimes, my father played a huge part in the way me and my siblings turned. I messaged you earlier elaborating...and I really don't think you need to change it x

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Ah...I will check out my messages! I had to take a break from answering to play guitar...I recently purchased a "new" old early 80s vintage classical acoustic guitar. It is the kind that is time-worn in all the right ways. I have been needing a new guitar I could just grab and play at any moment. This is a Yamaha, and I find those are always solid. They just are trustworthy and don't have the kind of unexpected unreliability that many other guitars do. It isn't expensive, but I have a few expensive guitars. This is for me to just play any time. If I need to impress I can always bring out the big guns...Why am I all over the place in my comments here?! Sorry...I am not normally like this. I think I am still a little feverish from my earlier flu. Anyway, let me check out your message. I am sure there is more to discuss!

[Frieda P]

A unique read...

Counting down, not to one
Rabbit catches Monkey
But when you're without sun
Rooster struts to set Tiger free

My favorite stanza...and what is rokoku exactly, couldn't find it online. Love how you wrap'd this up too.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I am so tickled that people are reading this and getting it! It was one of those weird tossed off ideas I had. A rokoku is an ancient Japanese water clock. It tells the time in a different system of hours from Western time, with animals for each of the hours. It is oddly hard to find online!

[Frieda P]

Sometimes those are the best ones! Ah, I got the gist of it, but couldn't find it anywhere, the definition kept coming up 'Russian' which made no sense at all. My pleasure....

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Thanks! Yep, not Russian, just the Japanese system of time from about 700 to about 1600.