Love Sponge

A second poem of today. This is another challenge to myself, to compose without an excess of inspiration. This is the uninspired me, working with my native, on-board operating system...

Tiny wormhole buried deep in my heart
Drains your love right out of this universe
You asked why you had to repeat yourself
How can I trust, when I lost all who came before?

Pouring love into me like so much soul sand
It runs through like an hourglass and back out the other end
I make vast amounts to share with you, only some of which you see
For when it crosses the event horizon it gets sucked right back to me

It's not egotism but deficit
Not a story of sorrow but of uncertainty
Reaching out, friends desert me
I call out, my lover rolls her eyes

Where do we go, we who are filled with emptiness?
What is the the substance that can displace doubt?
When a heavy heart is filled with everything but happiness
How can you clear it, or take another route?

Tiny wormhole buried deep in my heart
Drains your love right out of this dimension
You asked why you had to repeat yourself
Must you ask, now you're with someone else?

Author's Note

Please note this is a FIRST DRAFT and just a challenge to myself to see if I can write poems in barely a few minutes entirely on this site. If you are always afraid to be lousy, how can you ever be great?

Reviews

[Justine]

Hmmm...I think that writing when we place all our musings, thoughts and feelings as they come out often creates wonderful poetry. I like the black hole / wormhole analogies, as it speaks of absorbing way too much without effect, or as you say "Pouring love into me like so much soul sand. It runs through like an hourglass and back out the other end" The emptiness cannot be appeased. I really like this and hope you don't mess with it too much :) Justine

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I really like your help and appreciate this review. I think it is hardest to review poetry that is NOT very good. I fool myself that this is GOOD, but I wanted to challenge myself to do something "live" on this site. I will take your help into advisement, even if I alter some of the rest.

[Tina Louise UK]

You wrote this in a few minutes?..love the thoughts behind this...

Tiny wormhole buried deep in my heart
Drains your love right out of this universe

Loves those lines :) x

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

This was, in fact, one of the first things I ever wrote just directly onto this site. I had an idea for it, and then just started, writing this with another one the same day. I am trying to remember which one it was. I think I noted it in the prologue to the other one. This poem feels very unpolished to me even now, but I am really grateful for your review and you kindness towards me in reviewing it. I feel that you really do understand where I am coming from, and so I am complimented. It is a particular emotion of knowing you cannot help but question someone's love for you. I am all too susceptible to this particular ailment, unfortunately.