What does my birthday mean to me ?

"To myself on my birthday"

All my birthdays hadn't meant anything until my last when I decided to start living for myself

Forced to leave a place I've lived almost half my life was nothing but an alert to my self

My earlier birthdays used to be the day the Facebook wall was filled with so many birthdays' posts

This year, I removed my birthday from my social accounts as I think this is not an achievement that you need to boast

I knew most of them were from people who felt a social obligation to do so

I didn't want the non-sense of people wishing me just "to be a part of the show"

The office workmates used to surprise me with a small gathering along with gifts, flowers and cake

I later found out that feeding me a piece of cake and wishing me with a hug with hidden agendas were entirely fake

Earlier, it used to be a great day to catch up with friends and an excuse to get drunk

Don't know why this year, I just want to separate from the rest of the world and live my life in a secure retreat just like a monk

Visiting the temple and making calls to my elders and have their blessings has however been the same

My birthday truly signifies the privilege I have had of living another year without any shame

My birthday this year has been a prospection of my future and the retrospection of my past

And a day to think over all the mistakes I did and how not to make them again or watch them aghast

It's truly a reminder that I need to stop wasting time and invent it in the best way possible in the upcoming years

And, to mark a closure to my sadness with a promise to never let myself suffer again and trying to eradicate my fears

I've realized that birthday is a milestone that becomes increasingly less important as you cross age forty

And, starting afresh in some areas like a new haircut, good physical and mental health or learning to write poetry

Today, me and my children's happiness has always been my goal in everything I do

And I don't want to rely on others to celebrate myself or make a decisive breakthrough

So, this year has truly been monumental for me in many way

Happiness is definitely a choice, and I will continue to pursue it everyday

Someone rightly said, "In life, no matter how much you try; you are surely going to miss something or the other"

What truly matters is to be consistent in your efforts and always be happy to be on the move forever

Author's Note

Making my years count instead of counting the years.
Another year older, but not necessarily another year wiser !!!

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

Surely there's a time when discovering Self can be allowed as precious as other 'selves' can be without feeling or being seen as selfish! Each of us has a teeny right to be acknowledged for a half second - more if possible! Your first comment up there ^ is cleverly wise. Your second comment made me smile. You justifiably have two vital qualities to your being and in your life!!

Wishing you all you wish for yourself and those you love. Happy, happy birthday, my friend. :)

[Dr Sharmila Parajuli]

Thank you so much Emma, my friend for the birthday wishes and lots and lots of wisdom....totally made my day
Love, Sharmila

[emmajoygreen]

I just laughed at self because my early morning eyes saw mad e and wondered what was going on!!! In spite of that, do hope you had a wonderfully YOU-ful day, Sharmila.