A Case of the Muck Its

Just a little something I wrote for a contest. Figured I'd give one of those a go

 

Morning sun shines through my window

Under the shadow of sleep, my eyes drift awake

Can today be different than yesterday?

King of No Pants, I've earned that title proudly

 

Maybe today will be different

Understatement of the century

Candice wants to hang out today

Killer Klowns from Outer Space is on, though

 

Muck it. I don’t want to do anything today.

 

My friends call. We’re supposed to meet at the mall.

Under my sheets, I feel most comfortable

Calling and calling they do

Killing them is not an option

 

Momentarily, I reach for my pants

Under my bed, they sit

Can I explain this Buddhist feeling I have?

Kyle calls again. I answer

 

This was just a preamble to my “Muck Its”

A feeling I get quite often

 

My muscles relaxed

Unrelenting laziness engulfs my body

Creedence Clearwater only making me feel more relaxed

Kelly Clarkson, on the other hand, forces me out of bed

 

Night falls against the landscape of Southern California

Regrets fill my head from this past day

I should have went to the gym

I should have gotten out of the house

 

The blue bed was my sanctuary today

My fingers pounding away at the keyboard

That was my escape

I’m sure my friends will forgive me

Every once in a while, everyone has…

 

A case of the Muck Its

Author's Note

Like I said, just something I wrote for a contest. Give my some critique. Let me know what you think

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

Hmm. I like the little story that you tell within the poem; it's very "real" in a sense. As usual I have to give it my plug about imagery - it's not that it isn't THERE, it's just that the images are a little sporadic - you don't really give the reader much to grab onto. There are a few descriptive adjectives here and there but there are no really solid images to hold the attention of the reader. The other thing that bugs me is that the punctuation is sporadic. You use commas and question marks, but no periods. That's a pet peeve of mine in poetry - if you only use some punctuation where it should be and ignore the other spots where it should go, it denotes laziness. Of course, that's what you could've been going for, considering the subject of the poem, but to me it just looks a bit sloppy.

Anyway, this was fun to read and it looks like it was pretty fun to write, too. Good job.

[Wicahpi]

First of all, thank you for your entry into my first contest!
This is a fun look into a "Muck It" kinda day. I know we all
have them. Those lazy days where you dont want to do a muckin'
think (a muckin' think? lol I think that should be thing), not even answer the phone. I liked this:

"My muscles relaxed

Unrelenting laziness engulfs my body

Creedence Clearwater only making me feel more relaxed

Kelly Clarkson, on the other hand, forces me out of bed"

LoL I'd have to agree! At least you got some writing done, right? That's always fun.

Have a Muckin' Great Day!!
GOOD LUCK!!