A poem I wrote on the eve of Samhain, our newyear, this 2013.
PS. Samhain is what the normal people call "Halloween"
It's a tribute to all the good spirits protecting us and helping us all around.
I stare out the window
Mist everywhere,
Are they approaching?
The leaves are turning cold
The trees are humming the names
I feel myself getting erased in this exotic
feeling
Brilliant imagery and great transitions!
I feel like I went on a journey and saw all those images!
The poem is about a person that has an extra sensory skill and is able to pay attention to what most persons disregard. The character in the poem describes how voices carried by the wind announce the arrival of the once lived.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much, Anika. :) I just wrote what I felt myself. Not sure if I have got those skills, b.. read moreThank you so much, Anika. :) I just wrote what I felt myself. Not sure if I have got those skills, but I felt all these happening inside my head. It felt so beautiful.
Thank you so much once again for the lovely review. xx
10 Years Ago
I also generally liked the poem. Good effort -there is something heartfelt about it.But there are s.. read moreI also generally liked the poem. Good effort -there is something heartfelt about it.But there are some English errors that distract from the experience. Such as : "They have came" I would constructively suggest that you review it throughout for such errors. It will definitely strengthen the communication of your "voice".
10 Years Ago
Nice poem. I take it that you're Wiccan. I have several Wiccan friends both in real life and cyber s.. read moreNice poem. I take it that you're Wiccan. I have several Wiccan friends both in real life and cyber space. Anyway, I really like "I feel myself getting erased in this exotic feeling." The only thing you have to change (in my opinion) is toward the bottom. It should be "They have come" rather than "They have came."
10 Years Ago
Hey there, thanks to both of you pointing the mistake out, and I will rectify it. I am so sorry for .. read moreHey there, thanks to both of you pointing the mistake out, and I will rectify it. I am so sorry for the mistake, because English is not my first or native language, I tend to make mistakes sometimes. I am sorry, but I will try to be more accurate from the next time. xx
Oh yay. I do love Samhain. Very nice and chilly way of describing it.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Oh, I love it too! Shame on the people in here that they don't celebrate it.. And thank you so much... read moreOh, I love it too! Shame on the people in here that they don't celebrate it.. And thank you so much. xx
Ekta likhechilam, tobe besi likhte pari na. besi words ase na mathay. :) Kono ek time e post korbo o.. read moreEkta likhechilam, tobe besi likhte pari na. besi words ase na mathay. :) Kono ek time e post korbo oi Bangla poem ta. ;)
10 Years Ago
Dhonnyobad.
Omon-e hoe.
Jotno kore ota rekhe dao are engreji-bangla ja-e isse kore ta-e.. read moreDhonnyobad.
Omon-e hoe.
Jotno kore ota rekhe dao are engreji-bangla ja-e isse kore ta-e likho ebong shujog moto sapate thako.
Ekhon ki lekhapora korso?
I like it, well done!
i have some editorial ideas , just little things; everyone would have things their own way lol!
Samhain
-----------
Staring out of the window
everywhere mist,
...are they approaching?
trees are humming the names,
their leaves growing cold,
myself I feel becoming erased through such exotic feeling,
the wind moves so cold,
the stars blinking, my eyes blink,
seeing long forgotten sights-
the sea, the mountains, the forest,
feeling smudged inside the mist all at once,
and as I've known,
the veil now thinner every moment,
finally I smile
knowing the veil is gone.
They have come.
It is their time.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Adam, thank you so much for editing this properly. This is beautiful, and I am now going to put this.. read moreAdam, thank you so much for editing this properly. This is beautiful, and I am now going to put this version up on my SpellsofMagic profile if you don't have any problem. :)
Thank you. xx
I think there's just a few grammar issues,
The trees are gumming the names- might sound better ifnit was, their name.
Then towards the end, they have came- should be they have come.
Still, i like the journey and if you just allow yourself to be a bit more raw, it will be even better. Keep it up!
Inda, I would be very very honest on this, but when I read the humming line with my words and then y.. read moreInda, I would be very very honest on this, but when I read the humming line with my words and then your words, I liked your ones a lot better
And the come/came mistake is fixed. :)
Thank you for the review, I hope to make myself better with time. xx
what a truly vivid poem i can feel the wind blowing and see the trees moving and that is what good writing is supposed to do make you feel what the words are saying.Great write:)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Hello Vidya, thank you. :) I really appreciate your comments. :) xx
Your observant and poetic nature surely complement each other. I applaud your descriptive piece, as it feels like I have seen what you have seen, and heard what you have heard.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much for the review and the kind words, Angel.
Hi! My name is Shreya, I am 16, from India. I love writing, and reading. They are my favorite things. I am a Wiccan, so I write a lot about the Magick World, and poems about Magick. I write about in o.. more..