Samhain

A poem I wrote on the eve of Samhain, our newyear, this 2013. PS. Samhain is what the normal people call "Halloween" It's a tribute to all the good spirits protecting us and helping us all around.

I stare out the window

Mist everywhere,

Are they approaching?

The leaves are turning cold

The trees are humming the names

I feel myself getting erased in this exotic feeling

The wind blows

So cold,

The stars blink, just like I blink my eyes,

I see the long forgotten sight

The sea, the mountains, the forest,

Getting smudged inside the mist all at once

And as I've known,

The veil was getting thinner every second,

I finally smile,

Knowing the veil is gone.

They have came.

It's their time.

Reviews

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Brilliant imagery and great transitions!
I feel like I went on a journey and saw all those images!

The poem is about a person that has an extra sensory skill and is able to pay attention to what most persons disregard. The character in the poem describes how voices carried by the wind announce the arrival of the once lived.

[Shreya]

Thank you so much, Anika. :) I just wrote what I felt myself. Not sure if I have got those skills, but I felt all these happening inside my head. It felt so beautiful.
Thank you so much once again for the lovely review. xx

[Ingwil]

I also generally liked the poem. Good effort -there is something heartfelt about it.But there are some English errors that distract from the experience. Such as : "They have came" I would constructively suggest that you review it throughout for such errors. It will definitely strengthen the communication of your "voice".

[RealistMe]

Nice poem. I take it that you're Wiccan. I have several Wiccan friends both in real life and cyber space. Anyway, I really like "I feel myself getting erased in this exotic feeling." The only thing you have to change (in my opinion) is toward the bottom. It should be "They have come" rather than "They have came."

[Shreya]

Hey there, thanks to both of you pointing the mistake out, and I will rectify it. I am so sorry for the mistake, because English is not my first or native language, I tend to make mistakes sometimes. I am sorry, but I will try to be more accurate from the next time. xx

[RealistMe]

Oh okay. I'm glad to have helped. :)

[Shreya]

Thank you. :)

[RealistMe]

You're welcome.

[Rohan Basu]

Dark Elves. The White Walkers. The Scourge (World of Warcraft). These are the things that passed through my mind :) Nicely done :)

[Anand Sehgal]

I stare out the window

Mist everywhere,

Are they approaching?

super awesome imagery. You have a painter in you :)

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I feel myself getting erased in this exotic feeling

The wind blows

you played with images and the sound. marvelous work .
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[Carl Drake Barnard]

wow Grait write love the way you brought it to life! enjoyed the read!

[Rosaria_V]

This was truly moving, awesome job

[ferousfinite]

You have captured a moment in writing. Well done. Try to use more descriptive words, study a thesaurus and look for synonyms and antonyms and memorize them.

With this style of writing you can double your potential with a well developed vocabulary. The most important part of Poetry is painting the picture for the reader before they read it...

Let's see more like this!

="i

[Fahmida]

Beautiful One. Keep going.

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

I felt as though I was right there waiting...such vivid imagery, the anticipation was palpable. Well done!

[VALENTINE]

Breath taking read, i really loved it.

[Legion]

I like the thought of the piece. I feel that more depth could help with the presentation though. Perhaps more detail to grab the reader's attention and make them remember it once they have moved on to something else. It just doesn't seem to have that pizzaz or punch to it. Not bad but not something that feels legendary.

[chandlerl]

Wow, this poem is amazing. The imagery the feeling. There's even a little suspense, like you're waiting for 'them' to get here, for the veil to fall away. It honestly gave me chills. I love poems like this about 'halloween'. Instead of the stereotypically light it's put in. I have one called 'On Sacred Sound'. I haven't put it up yet since I no longer have a computer at the house.

The only constructive critisim I would have is, I feel you could've played with the mist a little more, made it come to life. Mist is always fun.

I think you'd like the book, The Child Thief, it's by BROM, just BROM.

Thank you for the lifely poem.
- Belle