I'd Rather Feel

A Poem by Alicia Nicole

A million words run wild
None of them my own
I always remember what she said
What he said
But I never remember what I said

No one would have ever guessed
That it would turn out the way it did
No one would have thought
That I contain such strength
No would could have stopped
The path of destruction that was left behind

Do you know the real me?
Do I even know the real me?
Wherever she is
Who ever she may turn out to be
I hope the monsters don't get her

She is a f**k up
A fat a*s
An ugly beast
The unwanted
--Can't do anything right
--You ruined my life
--I hate you
--Stop
--No
--Don't let me go on

She is amazing
A perfect representation of her self
She is beautiful
She is smart
She is wanted
--I love you
--Anyone would be lucky to have you
--Your too hard on yourself
--You have such much to live for
--Don't let the past stick you in a vat of concrete

All that we are
And all that we have
All that we experience
And all that happens
It makes US well US