The Pumpkin Soup

3 little mice learn that faith and hope must be put into action.

There lived 3 little mice in a small hole on the side of a hill. Each of them was sleeping in their beds.

The mice woke up in excitement remembering that mother always made pumpkin soup, every Saturday morning. They rushed to the kitchen almost tripping over each other. Each mouse discovered in disappointment that there was no pumpkin soup and mother could not be found. About to walk back to their rooms, one of them  exclaimed," We've 

seen mother make the soup so many times, let us make it our way." So the three of them conspired on how they would create the soup. They grabbed the kindling to start the fire, placed the pot filled with cool water over the fire and waited for it to boil. After boiling, they dumped the chopped up pumpkin in the pot.  

Tummy's rumbling and mouths watering, they each dipped their own bowl and grabbed a spoon. All at once, after drinking their soup, they spit it out in disgust. " What is the matter with our soup?" said the mice. Each sat questioning what might be wrong when one of them straightened up with an answer. " Well no wonder, we forgot to say the blessing!" All fell on their knees saying the blessing. When finished, they climbed back onto their seats and took another sip, still, the soup was horrid. " Hmmm... we must not have gotten the great ones attention." Exclaimed the mice in desperation. So each of the mice went to the cupboard grabbing the pots and kettles, started to bang them together and sing out loud in hopes that the great mouse would bless their soup!! 

As all this commotion was going on, Mother Mouse was returning home with some ingredients. She heard the wild tantrums inside and rushed in. " What is going on in here?!" Yelled the mother. " We thought that if we got the great's one's attention, He would bless our soup." said the children.  The mother chuckled to herself and walked over to the pot, putting her finger in the soup and tasting it. " Haha!!! I think I have found your problem, you forgot to add the salt." 

Author's Note

This is my first story that I've actually completed. I've never been satisfied with my writing, but after learning it takes more than one draft to get it right, I am totally excited about what I can think of next.

Reviews

[Rambone Campos]

That was great you are good at story writing, keep going.

[Samuel Dickens]

Good for children, I think this may teach a few lessons like, "parents know more than you think they do, seemingly easy tasks aren't always easy, learn from failures so you may improve." A very good effort, whether it is the first or the tenth.

[Henry Pellinger]

Thank you so much for the review.

[Tom Aubin]

This is a good first story with a simple but valuable lesson. I can definitely see it illustrated and part of a children book.
I'm looking forward to read what you can come up with for the next one. Good job!

[Henry Pellinger]

Thank you very much. I hope you enjoy the next one I'm writing.

[Carol Cashes]

For a "first" effort, this is quite good. Get an illustrator and get this published. This tells us ALL that sometimes it's just one simple "ingredient" missing that will make everything okay. I liked the pictures of these mice scurryin' about in my head. Well done.

[Henry Pellinger]

Thank you so much!!!