Get It Right.

what am I doing wrong?

Fall apart 1,000 times,

read from a script where I fake every line,

Break myself apart every night,

What do I have to do to get it right?

Everyday's a new war,

I want to be strong, but you can't buy that at the store.

Every nights a new challenge, 

Whether I smile one moment or cry the next, it's gonna happen.

At night I make up the next excuse & lie,

If I play my cards right, everyone will think I'm fine.

I do try my best and fight,

But,

What do I have to do to get it right?

I can fake a smile & laugh,

It can be never ending, like a photograph.

I can put on an endless play,

Till even I believe I'm okay.

I can do it all, till I can't no more,

After the pain is too much and spreads through my core.

After everyone sees I've been crying,

I'll ask someone "How can I keep trying?"

And even after they know,

I'll pretend to be okay.

Keep my feelings on the low,

Smile and laugh day after day.

One day I'll be done,

I'll lay on the grass, and stare at the sun.

When the pain gets so bad it hugs my chest tight,

I'll ask you all,

"What didn't I do right?"