Pneumatic

Not my best!

The sound of the wind

Slapping the leaves

The sirens in the distance

What do they mean?

Where are we,

And why are we here?

Tell me the truth

Everything is so unclear

Author's Note

I wrote this months ago. I found it in my journal and decided to post it. Tell me your thoughts and opinions, con-crit is always welcome!

Reviews

[Nishant Gupta]

good one see mine too "QUEST OF LIFE".

[nostal]

Beautiful beautiful beautiful

[smalltownsympathies]

I love this! I just saw you as an online reader and thought I'd let you know that you've got talent. This is great, just let it keep flowing from your mind into your pen and you could really add to this piece :)

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[Brittany W]

i really liked this, i think if you added more it would be even better but its great the way it is, good job on this :)

[Brooke Wake]

Wow, I just read that you are 15!! My goodness girl, keep writing.

[Brooke Wake]

Hello, Elle!

The first line is very good; I enjoy the verb "slapping".

Play more with the "pneumatic" title. How does the use of wind energy dispel or obscure truths?

I admire the simplicity of the answering lines, and the big questions seem appropriate in contrast to the physical impetus. However, the line "everything is so unclear" feels like it be a little more crafted, as it currently seems a little too general.

Otherwise, beautiful phrasing, especially in the first two lines.

Keep it up!

[Neisha Ann]

Truthfully, I love it! I believe you're really talented. I can't wait to read more!