Undecided

Undecided

Your nothingness is everything

Your evilness my kindness

Your strikes are my pleasure 

You are my world, though I wish you weren't 

You make me go insane in the nicest way. 

I wish you'd just let me go away. 

While you hold me tight in your warm embrace. 

I let a tear slide down my face

and I can't seem to shake this fate

this life i will always hate. 

Reviews

[Philip Muls]

Undecided is a perfect title because the poem describes what can only be inner confusion, being torn on many levels, inner wrestlings indeed as Erica points out.

The head versus the heart. You know he is not good for you but you feel love and attraction.

Well done.

[Ella]

Thank you for your kind words

[terry smith]

love is a drug so easily addicted ..and a junkie's story usually ends sadly...nice writing!

[Ella]

Thank you! :)

[David K. Porter]

Very well done! One thing I find a most effective tool in poetry is the opposites! Even though the rhymes are a bit too generic to me in here (face, fate, hate, etc.), I really like your opposites, especially how to start off with 'Your nothingness is everything'!':) There is a lot of potential in here!

[Inject Positivity]

I can relate to the feelings of this poem....Wonderful my frnd....Loved the use of words....Thumbs up!!!! God bless you.....

[Ella]

Thank you. God bless you

[Robert]

Well done Ella, filled with a lot of emotion and feelings. Exactly what a poet should write.

BTW haven't seen you much around lately?

[Ella]

thank you! I'm always happy to read your comments. i know i haven't been around lately i was super busy with school but i posted a new poem tonight hope that makes up for it. Glad to hear from you

[Drcicarlo]

I'd like to add on to the previous comment... I have a compilation under the name of "inner-wrestlings" and this fits perfectly. The moment I began reading I thought to myself, how many scars one person obtains through any "complicated" relationship. Channeling the pain into words is actually a great way to cope and overcome- always remember that your fellow readers are here to share and feel your struggles as well; with that being said, I hope that you have found peace. This story is filled with heartbreak but it also has a strong side of power.

[Ella]

Wow thank you so much for taking the time to read my poetry. i think i have found some kind of peace in writing even though i stray every now and again. I hope i will always come back to this and flood my feelings into something instead of just myself.

[Drcicarlo]

You are your own artist you paint your masterpieces the way your mind commands you to. Your soul holds the brush and your body is just the instrument. If your heart is hurting you will write about yourself- it's not a bad thing. I think the best way to accept who you are, and overcoming any situation is by creating a piece of art that best explains it. So not only can your viewers digest what you convey, but you can re-read over and over to come up with solutions. Also, it doesn't hurt to even love your own works. You're a fascinating writer. Let yourself go with the flow. No restrictions.

[Ella]

i really appreciate what you said and am taking it to heart. i never really felt confident about anything i do or of myself maybe because i don't think i deserve it but you really opened my eyes. i'm going to try and relax a bit more and go with the flow.

[Drcicarlo]

Not to sound stalker-ish- i see you're 17. I'm only 19, closer to turning 20. Not until a year ago i was the most reserved, stick in the a*s, turtle. I seriously was like a turtle- i would hide in my shell, never take risks, and i would bow my head in shame if i were to be insulted in any way. The problem was, at a young(er) age, i never took the time to come out of my shell and be the person that took the insults, reconstructed them, and used it constructively. Once i was 18, things started to look up, change began. My writing became a reflection of my security and confidence. I guess now i'm the turtle that won the race- but a suggestion i've always held close to me is that there will always be room for improvement, no matter how old you are, or how achieved you might think you'll be, there will always be room for improvement. Stay strong lady, you have a beautiful beast inside.

[Ella]

Thank you that really means a lot to me. I'm trying to come out of my shell more. I just grew up being taught to stay in the background and to not be social so I never really had the chance to escape that. I'm going to have to soon anyways I'm leaving and forcing myself into a new environment.

[Drcicarlo]

I can painfully relate to that, unfortunately.
I know your journey will be filled with endless ups and downs- eventually it will be stable for a moment. On the contrary, I am excited to read more from you. I am glad that i found you on here!

[Hassan99]

I really liked this, the way you work with extreme opposites is awesome. Really deep as well,I enjoyed it

[Lawrence Brown]

Wow Moving Makes Me Think

[Ella]

Then i did my job! Thanks for the review!

[....................]

The first four lines describe what I sense as an abusive relationship...then the fifth, through to the seventh, lines, appear to demonstrate a softer side of the relationship...but the final lines remind us that what we are seeing is the struggle within; the emotional turmoil and feeling of being trapped... clearly a great title for the piece, too...

[Ella]

Thanks for your review! They are always welcomed.