From Earth to Ethereal: Infinite to Zero

I've lived, and I've also died multiple times. There was nothing very special or glamorous about all my previous lives. Some lives were better, and some lives were worse. Some of the better lives f

I've lived, and I've also died multiple times. I have been conscious of this ongoing cycle. This is my umpteenth rebirth; I can't say I'm very surprised anymore. I can barely remember the life I led in my first rebirth, and I've also lost count since. But I do remember something clearly enough: I thought I was crazy, or at least going crazy. Now here's a dark twist: I did go crazy.

Now, mind you, you may be wondering, "Why would you go crazy?" Well, life is complicated, and being reborn is nothing like in those anime, manga, or fairytale stories. I saw no reason for being reborn to live another life, and many questions came to me because of it. Was I even the child of these new parents? Was I just taking their child's place? Why was I even reborn?

I was never given answers to these questions that wracked my brain constantly because I never asked them. How could I? I would have been deemed insane and most likely put into a psychiatric asylum of sorts and rot away there. So I decided to give my birth giver and sperm donor some peace of mind by being 'normal'. At first, it was fun acting like a young child again, then boring when I grew older and eventually became an adult once more. That is, until my new parents died.

I began to spiral once they were gone. I didn't realize when they became so important to me. They had grown to be an anchor to help maintain my illusion of being a 'normal' person. Soon enough, I became a recluse, though I suppose I was always a loner. One day, I just decided to quit my job and not go anymore. I had enough money to last a little while and only went out every now and then when entirely necessary. I still continued to think of those unanswered questions. Eventually, I just ended it.

That's all I can really remember from my first rebirth. There was nothing very special or glamorous about my second life, just like my first. Only the fact that I went crazy in one of them would make the real difference. All the lives after that were nothing really noteworthy either. Maybe this was my purgatory. Maybe because I never believed in a higher being, and it's not like I believed in purgatory to start with. I didn't think that would warrant this cycle of continuous life and death.

Some lives were better, and some lives were worse. Some of the better lives filled me with something I never knew was missing. Whether it be familial love, a sense of purpose, or knowledge, that's what I gained from them. Some of the worst lives... Well, let's just say I've met some true monsters in the shape of humans.

Now, after many lives, I am being born yet again. I can't say I enjoy the sensation of being born; being conscious of it, of course, makes it a lot worse. Everything is very overwhelming-the sudden feelings, the impulse to shout out to open up the airway, the inability to immediately open your eyes, and, of course, the unexpected, loud, muddled sounds-but what is this? Something's different.

I can tell I'm sluggish, or more like, I feel some sort of resistance when I try to move around. I struggle to rub my eyes to clear my vision, at least, and it works to a degree. I can see my hands, and they're certainly not newborn baby hands, but not adult hands either. I look straight ahead and bring my hand up to feel my surroundings. There seems to be, or what seems to be, glass that curves outward about a foot or so in front of me, but I can't see out of it. I feel all around me, and I come to the conclusion that I am encased in some kind of container. I start to panic. I feel caged.

I try to strike my enclosure to gain attention, to be let out, or to break the glass; I'm not sure. I try to yell out, but I don't seem to be making enough noise, and whatever sounds I do emit are nothing but garbled gurgles. Then it clicks; I'm in water or what seems to be some sort of liquid substance. I'm breathing just fine, but that also explains why my movements were so slow. The glass also seems far too thick to be broken by my bare hands.

My hope is beginning to fade. If this solitude and confinement continue for too long, I may just go even more insane than I probably already am. I made the most logical choice to try and ground myself: make more observations. I can't see anything, but I can surely feel around.

I bring my hands up to my head; my hair seems to be medium length, nearly touching my collarbones. A little ways down, and I can feel skin-tight material covering my body; it seems I'm not naked, at least. The fabric feels sleek and covers me like a bodysuit made for swimming, but thinner. The neck comes up midway, the sleeves come down nearly to my elbows, and the legs come down right above the knees. I can also tell I'm rather slim, bordering on skinny. I have little to no fat or muscles to be felt. I also have a flat chest, maybe due to the fact that the clothing that I'm wearing is compressing my body, but seeing as I seem relatively young and have very little fat, it's hard to tell, and I don't really care. I leave it at that for now. Then, I trace my fingertips back up to my face.

I seem to have long eyelashes, a straight nose bridge that leads to a perky tip, and high cheekbones-hidden slightly under a bit of baby fat. Everything came together to form a sharp jaw, ending in a somewhat pointed chin. Everything appears to be in order; all of my limbs, fingers, and toes function normally, and I don't seem to be disfigured in any way. Even though I know that on the inside, I am feeling frantic, I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably not bad looking... Then, before I can make any more observations or overthink myself into an existential crisis, everything seems to wobble.

Sudden, intense light floods my vision, scorching my pupils and forcing me to close and shield my eyes as quickly as possible. The fluid that was submerging me completely also recedes through a ventilation system by my feet. I slowly start to feel myself descend until the balls of my feet make contact with a solid surface. My muscles must have atrophied from not moving for a long time because my knees buckle under me. I start to hear voices as I feel my full weight in what feels like eons. I brace myself to fall flat on my face, but that doesn't happen; instead, I feel hands firmly grasping my shoulders and being lowered slowly to a sitting position.

"Well, thanks, but who the hell are you?" I think, as I open my eyes just a fraction, I can see who is steadying me. Everything is still very bright; my eyes are still burning as they adjust, but I can make out the person's features. He didn't look quite human. He has short, dark brown hair that's parted off to the side. His eyes are quite eye-catching, with vertically slit pupils that are encircled by bright, golden amber irises speckled with warm bronze. Also noticeable are the scales running along his temples to the highest parts of the cheekbones and some encasing the exposed part of the neck where arteries are located. And what is that swishing behind him? "IS THAT A TAIL? Oh no, I must be hallucinating." Inwardly, I'm freaking out, but the being that helped me starts talking.

I focus on the scaled man's voice and tone more than his appearance or words for a moment. He sounds calm and collected, soft-spoken but charismatic, which helps me ground myself and feel a little more at ease. Then, suddenly, I feel a few light pats on my cheek, pulling me out of my self-induced trance, and my head snaps up to meet his gaze. I hear the words he speaks, but they are hard to decipher.

"You -(alright)--, kid?" He asks in a concerned tone.

His words sounded like a mixture of three different languages, even though he only spoke a few words. I ended up blurting out, "Wha?" His face showed a hint of amusement when he heard it. Though the mirth in his eyes is quickly replaced with worry when my face contorts with discomfort, my throat seems to clog up, as if phlegm is lodged in it; even the half-syllable I spoke caused me to have a coughing fit. It helps in dispelling any unwanted liquid from my lungs, at least. I hear some rummaging off to the side, and when I look over, I see that we weren't alone.

There is a young teenage girl crouching over a bag, and soon enough, she pulls out a sort of pouch with a corked mouth and what looks to be a towel. She gets up and strides over with hurried steps while she unscrews the pouch. She even goes so far as to help me drink the contents slowly; it seems like water but has a tinge of sweetness to it. After a few mouthfuls, I push it away and show a small smile in gratitude, and she smiles back softly as she puts the towel she had brought over my head and starts drying my hair. The two start talking with each other, and I can make out snippets of what they're saying.

"I don't -(believe)-- she -(understood)-- you. Why do you -(think)-- she was in -(there)--?" The young teen seems to inquire.

Maybe I look like a girl to them; that's what I got from the disjointed sentences and also a question of why I was here in this place-most likely. I was only able to hear her voice now; I wasn't able to take in her features earlier before she placed the towel over my head. She has a very soft and airy voice-almost like she's constantly whispering-which makes it harder to make out all the words. From what I can perceive so far, the tongue they speak in is a mix of English, Japanese, and Latin. Some of the words I can understand are being spoken in English or Japanese, but Latin is never a language I picked up, and I don't understand very much of it.

"Yeah, I don't -(think)-- the kid did." He says with a light chuckle, he pauses for a moment before continuing to speak, "This -(place)-- looks like a -(lab)--..." The man says the last word almost hesitantly and only receives a hum of what's most likely agreement from the girl.

Then her hands finally halt in drying my hair off, and she takes the towel away from my head. I look at her quickly, trying to see what the kind teen who's helping me looks like. She has ashy blonde hair and two short pigtails situated on the sides of her head, almost directly behind her elongated ears that taper off into pointed ends. She's a mixture of cute and pretty. She was looking at me too, due to my sudden movement. She seems to be observing me as well. She slowly, so as not to startle me, moves some of my hair out of my face.

"She -(seems)-- to be a -(halfling)--, -(likely)-- an elf," She comments, in her usual soft voice.

That last word piqued my interest: "elf." I am well aware that this is a fantasy world. Which I have never lived in before in any of my innumerable other lifetimes. On that note, I have always been a human being-never even an animal. Yet there is evidence standing in front of me now: what appears to be an elf girl and a lizard guy with his long, swishy tail, and it would seem that I am not human either. This has never happened before. So many questions reach the forefront of my mind.

"What sort of world is this?"

"Is there magic in this world?"

"What am I able to do?"

"What's going to happen to me now?"

Soon enough, my spiraling thoughts came to an end with the scaled man clearing his throat. He gestures to himself and states, "Aureli," which I'm assuming is his name. He then points to the elf girl and says, "Serena." I just nod my head in understanding, but then he points to me, wanting my name in return. My mind blanks. I tilt my head in thought; I don't have a name. I've always been given a name at each of my births, but this time, I wasn't given one. I went ahead and shook my head resignedly to imply that I don't know or just don't have one. Aureli and Serena both hum in response; hopefully, they understand what I'm trying to convey.

Their brows furrow as they survey the room, which gives me some time to have a look around as well. There's not even a single window to be seen and only one door that these two must have used to gain entrance to this room. The room itself isn't that large-around the size of a slightly larger than average apartment bedroom. The walls are gray and drab, but looking straight ahead, there is a whole wall of shelves holding many books and jars on display. From what I can tell, the jars hold scales, feathers, and even something that looks like eyeballs. Off to the side, pushed up against the wall, is a metal gurney, and the very sight of it makes me shudder involuntarily. My eyes continue to examine the room for anything else notable, and I find myself looking at the place I was confined to earlier.

Aureli's eyes seem to glint with wariness before he makes a small, pensive noise.

"Rei... How -(about)-- Rei?" He seems to have given me a name.

Serena tilts her head curiously, wondering where he got the idea for the name. He points to where I was looking just a moment ago: my former enclosure. On the floor, right before the opening, there is an engraved zero with a slash through it (Ø). Now, the name is understandable. "Rei" has many meanings as a name, but he's given me the name signifying zero. It's kind of a downer, but I don't mind it. In one of my past lives, I was named "Claude," which literally means "lame" or "one who limps." So, I'll take it.

Aureli and Serena both look towards me to see my expression, but all they see is my relatively blank face.

"Rei?" Serena called out in a gentle tone.

Even though her voice is always soft, the way she spoke my new name held something akin to warmth and kindness. It catches my attention more than if someone had been scolding me. I face her and give her all my attention; the corners of her lips quirk up in mirth.

"I think she -(likes)-- it." She smiles fully towards me, then looks at Aureli, giving him a nod of approval.

He grins a bit awkwardly as he helps me to my feet and points to the door. Most likely saying that we should start leaving now. We then leave the room, Serena following close behind, as quickly as we can, which isn't really quick at all. My legs still felt a little weak and jelly-like. Eventually, Aureli decides to carry me instead when we arrive on a flight of stairs; it's honestly embarrassing. He's carrying me like I'm a toddler or a small child on his hip, but I'm also getting more and more tired, so I don't make a fuss about it.

Our surroundings are a little odd. It's all made out of smooth stone slabs, and it's rather bright, even though the only things lighting our way are torches along the walls. We go up a few flights of stairs; it seemed I was being kept in the basement, seeing as there were no stairs leading any further down. The whole place is abandoned, though; there is no one else to be seen; maybe a few rats are scuttling about, but that's it. It makes me question why I was the only one here to start with, but I put that thought to the back of my mind as I hear a couple of new voices ahead of us.

The voices are coming from the last door that I can see, and it's the only door leading out. It was left wide open, and I can make out the view of the outside. It makes me feel like I'm dissociating-from the inside of this dreary and dull structure to the lush green trees and flora of the forest right past the door. I come back to my senses when I hear those voices more clearly and loudly than before. I grow slightly tense. Will these people ahead of us be enemies? Aureli and Serena seem relaxed, so maybe they know the people outside.

"They sure are taking their time," came a slightly gravelly, tired voice.

"Maybe they found treasure," a sing-song voice said excitedly in response.

Serena steps forward and makes her presence known to the two outside with a small laugh. Aureli steps out of the doorway after her, and everything seems so much brighter. I shut my eyes tight, my brows nearly meeting in the middle. The tailed man notices and snorts in amusement as he gently places me on my feet. The others become silent, and all I can hear is the rustling of the leaves and the small sounds of nearby critters. I feel soft grass prickling me between my toes as I open my eyes slowly.

Author's Note

So, seeing as this is my first ever story, I'm unsure if the length of the chapter is adequate enough. This first chapter is about nine pages long. Now just know that if the chapters are longer the wait for the chapters will also be longer...
A bit of feedback would be much appreciated.