Spirits of Darkness

For a Gothic challenge

 

 

 

Spirits of Darkness

 

Spirits so dark roam this earth

Hungering for blood with their endless thirst

 

Spirits so dark we can't look upon their face

Haunting our nights from the most darkest place

 

Don't let them grab you and drag you away

There are many things that will make them stay

 

They thrive on intolerance and greed

Of abuse and anger they always feed

 

They welcome wars and the evil of men

The havoc they cause, I can’t even pen

 

These spirits so monstrous, cackle with glee

are around everywhere, we just don't see

Flesh eaters of mind,

A sickness spreading over Earth seeking their kind

 

Vying for victims each morning and night

Picking each target  who appeal to their sight

 

These rotten soul-stealers will thrive alright

If human beings don't strive for right

 

The world will turn to chaos when the white doves cry

Final judgment day appears in the blackened sky

 

People wake up from your slumber

 your eyes are blurred

To the dark spirits who steal our souls

 when the the final bell tolls ~

 

 

 

 

© Helen M. Crutchett (All rights reserved)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

Your words deliver a message that should inspire each of us to be ever wary of these demons who have but one goal, and that is to destroy good. They are the personification of evil and manifest it in every way possible. As Lucifer leads them, they go about their way seeking to do what is possible to thwart this goodness given TO us to God.

Your words shall certainly ring in my ears! I am especially driven to remember the words,

"Flesh eaters of mind
A sickness spreading over Earth seeking their kind

I shudder as I read all of the lines, but flesh eaters of mind BE GONE!!!!!!!!!!

[Helen Crutchett]

Thank you Sheila! (Smiles) ~ Helena

[ANTO]

A cautionary tale of the End of Days - which be accounts in Revelations we seem to be already experiencing - but in how many instances and times has the human race felt this way - The Black Death, World Wars, Cold War imminent Armageddon, etc, etc. For each generation that felt the end of the World was nigh, it proved otherwise.

"Flesh eaters of the mind' - superb description of the many things - the many distractions that are rife today which insist of complete devotion and attention (Facebook, Twitter, idealism), thus deflecting us from soul-nourishing spirituality.

The phrase 'when (white) doves cry' has such strong connotations with agony (it is said the sound is one of the most heart-wrenching we could experience). It was very well employed here Helen to begin the close of this well-composed apocalyptic write.

It is remarkably tight in rhyming for prose I thought, with dashes of assonance, certainly but flows smoothly and better than average prose, I feel.

thank you Helen :))

[Helen Crutchett]

Many thanks ANTO for leaving your very encouraging review. Much appreciated my friend!

read moreMany thanks ANTO for leaving your very encouraging review. Much appreciated my friend!

Kind regards,

Helena

[serenae_dc]

Very haunting poem. The last line gripped me. -ae

[Lily Finch]

awsome .....true said... and m spechless..how to admire this poem's writter... :)

[Veronica Chandler]

You rocked my world with this chilling piece, from the picture to the opening line and you held me captive by your well crafted words till I made it to the end. The following lines really grabbed me with just how profoundly true the words are.
"They thrive off your intolerance and greed
Of abuse and anger they always feed
They welcome wars and the evil of men
The havoc they cause, I can’t even Pen"
Exquisitely dark, intense and true every word.

[Jake Botha]

Helena,

Firstly thanks for accepting the friend request. The title leapt at me the moment I went to take a look at your work. I tend to right a lot of darker pieces and thus, enjoy reading darker pieces.

I enjoyed reading this piece of yours. It is easy to connect it to more physical aspects of the human condition to be cruel and uncaring. The personification of evil is great. How it feeds on us and how it so masterfully has a way of picking us at random. Corrupting us to the core.

Your choice of words are vivid and suggestive.

I like how the "light" and more pure side of man is represented by the dove. It is pure and has always been a symbol of grace. Pitting the evil spirit to such a harmless creature is great. The good in man, might always seem frail and not in any way threatening and in that lies the perfection.

Your words cary a sense of weight and a clear warning. Should we remain blissfuly unaware of the evil we stand a good chance of succumbing to it.

The religious undertones is short and not at all to obvious. Nothing is forced on the reader. Instead of forcing the religious aspect, you effectively cast a darker tone over the moral decay of man in a world rife with seduction and darkness. That being said, as a non religious person, the words you penned is a cautionary tale of life. The age old war of good vs evil.

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Helena

Following our becoming friends, I thought I might turn to reviewing one of your pieces.

The world of the Gothic is one I have often admired and been drawn to.

There are too may to quote. Of those who have dipped their toes in it at its origins, figure Mary Shelley (Frankenstein), Edgar Allan Poe, Bram Stoker and Horace Walpole.

The trend of course continues to this day.

However much one might wish to constrict this excellent piece of writing to perhaps the world of vampires, or Gothic for Gothic's sake, in my personal opinion, it extends way beyond that into the world of harsh reality, of good and of evil and perhaps beyond into the meaning of life.

Your opening lines hit the target of evildoers head on:

'Spirits so dark Roam in this world
Hungering for blood with their endless thirst'

You widen it later into the consequences of such evil, which you cannot even begin to encompass:

'They welcome wars and the evil of men
The havoc they cause, I can’t even Pen'

Your mode of self-expression is as eloquent as the meaning you convey.

Earlier you express well the way the possible wrongdoers perhaps inveigle us into their web of deceit and you deny them their right to do so:

'Don't let them grab you and drag you away
There are many things that will make them stay
They thrive off your intolerance and greed
Of abuse and anger they always feed'

How perfectly expressed!

Towards the end you speak of the final judgement coming:

'The world will turn to chaos when the white doves cry and
Final judgment day appears in the blackened sky'

Without wishing to deviate, the words 'white doves' have always had a particular significance for me.

Once I had two dovecotes and bred from one mating couple of white doves. When accomplished, the flock grew and lived a life of freedom feeding themselves every day. They are always a metaphor for freedom and goodness.

Just to finish this story, one day I found one wounded, it having hit an upstairs window and fallen to the ground.

Everyday I hand fed her until she was healed.

But do you know what, thereafter every time I walked into the garden, the little dove would fly straight towards me and nestle on my arm or on my head.

I never cease to wonder at the fact that even a small bird recognised love and returned it.

There is much to be said for white doves. And there is much to be said for the love that lies behind the evil you so precisely define.

In the end, to the extent that your words have a moral lesson and whether you intended it that way or not, I as your reader interpret them that way.

I find your concluding statement, your ending lines disturbing. I was moved:

'People wake up from your slumber
be very afraid
Of the dark putrid spirits
Who steal our souls
At the moment of death ~'

Your final warning should we as society not change or we as individuals do not assist in that change, the risks of having lived a meaningless life serving only to destroy the other rather to help and show compassion is one to fear.

Whatever your objective you are seeking to achieve here, whether it is simply a sample of 'Gothic' writing for its own sake (bot I do not believe so) it has for me ('my take' as a reader) a moral tale to tell, that will reverberate in my mind for some time after I finish this review.

And I am finishing now.

I like to think I am a balanced reviewer and if I find fault I will note it in a tender way so as to help the writer. But I do not find herein anything to adversely critique or I would have told you so by now.

As a writer we all seek a single reader's reaction at a time.

Well you have now just had mine.

Very accomplished writing.

With my thanks and all due respect.

Your friend


James Hanna-Magill

[Helen Crutchett]

I am delighted with your wonderful review and thank you profusely! Your words mean a great deal to me James and I am honoured to have you as a friend.

Happy writing!

Helena :)

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Helena

It is my complete pleasure.

Your friend

James

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Excellent read and write. Only a catastrophe will wake people up. After 9/11 they went back to sleep.

[Helen Crutchett]

thank you for your kind words Brandon.

Helena :)