I'm angry

You left me!

You did!

I was just a little kid!

You left me!

Alone!

In a house but not a home!

You left me!

To cry!

I felt that I could die!

I'm angry!

That kid!

That little little kid!

You left me!

You did!

I was just a little kid!

Reviews

[Gee]

My old man upped sticks and cleared off leaving mum with 5 very young kids. She then went on to have two more and she adopted my eldest sister's two when they were 6 and 18 months old.Anyways, him going has allowed me to have free reign at being a dad, no role model to follow, so I have been to my daughter everything I would have wished my dad to have been to me :))
Hi Helen, hope you are well

[Helen]

Hi Gee. All good here, hope you are too.

I like that you created your own idea of how to be a good dad - your daughter is lucky to have you.

It was my mum that left and I was left with difficult feelings of unworthiness that affected my ability to be a good mum, even though it was the most important thing in the world to me to be able to do that. I am only able to say this because things are much better today - much healthier outlook and much more able to be a loving parent even though my children are all grown up now.

[barleygirl]

This reminds me of how we (those abused in childhood) are urged to write some cathartic stuff using the perspective of a child that's given no voice, & thusly giving that child a voice. I've tried this, long ago, but never could boil it down to such an elemental & childlike simplicity as you've done. I'm having an "ah-ha!" moment, thinking I never really gave my inner child a voice like this! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Helen]

Thank you as always Margie for your thoughtful and encouraging comments. I have to say I find you very inspirational in the time you devote to reading and reviewing other people's writing and writing such wonderful poems as well. I am finding it a bit hard to keep up with everything!

I like this poem of mine the best possibly. I still feel her feelings when I re-read it, but I the picture makes me smile ... because it is how she should have felt, but didn't because she was trained to be a nice good girl.

She's free to feel that way today

Thank you again Margie, hope you and your inner child are both doing ok :)

[barleygirl]

Love this part of your comment the most: "she didn't becuz she was trained to be a nice good girl" . . . this goes to show it doesn't always take full-blown abuse to stifle the spirit of a child. Lots of times it's just the bad habits of prior generations (women in the habit of "being nice") . . .

[Helen]

Oh yes, I love it today (aged 54 now) - I have undone some of my conditioning, but I believed it all until about 4 years ago. I'm a better person now I'm less nice!

[Helen]

Clarissa Pinkola Estes again, may be of interest for us - "we abused in childhood" https://www.ncronline.org/blogs/el-rio-debajo-del-rio/scar-clan-lost-story-vatican-ii

[barleygirl]

Thanks for sharing. I will read later, but I've got it bookmarked. I love the idea "Scar Clan" -- it reminds me of another writer Jean M. Auel who wrote "Clan of the Cave Bear" & a few sequels. I love the idea of having a clan of people who belong together, unlike my own clan which is very fragmented. This sparks writing ideas for me . . .

[Helen]

I also read Clan of the Cave Bear and all the sequels and got lost in them for a while.

read moreI also read Clan of the Cave Bear and all the sequels and got lost in them for a while.

The article in the link is partly about a pope, the detail of which I don't properly understand, but wanted to share the idea of scar clan - my pain as a badge of honour, proud to be a member and, yes, a sense of belonging which I do not have with my own fragmented (and very small) clan.

I will eagerly look out for the writing that comes from this spark if you choose to publish it on here.