Chapter 2: Wounded Child

And so it was that Leana found herself, all alone, outside the cave where Black Annis lived. She peered into the dark, dank entrance and shuddered. It was dark and foreboding, and she was very frightened. She had heard tales about this place and the fearsome old witch who lived here. Strange smells and strange sounds wafted out to where she stood, and the air was damp and had the feel of dark magic. 

Leana summoned all of her courage, taking a moment to switch on her internal light. She took two purposeful steps forward. She was determined to forge ahead, despite how frightened she felt. But she could not go in. This magic, it seemed, was not for her. Leana’s brow furrowed, “Why am I here then?” she wondered. She sat back, perplexed and then decided to see if there was another entrance to the cave. 

She explored the land around the cave and, although the night was pitch black, it did not have the same sense of oppression and foreboding that Leana had experienced at the cave entrance. Leana approached a small clearing where she heard the strangled cry of an injured animal. She wanted to see if she could help, but as she drew closer, her fear returned. She began to make out the shape of a large animal, and she was not at all sure that it wouldn’t attack her, especially if it felt cornered. As she cautiously approached, the shape unfurled, and to Leana’s amazement, it took the form of a child. Closer still, Leana could see that it was a girl, aged about eight years old. 

Darkness surrounded the girl, who was still moaning and crying. Despite the darkness, Leana could see the shocking state of the girl’s body. The girl was filthy, and her hair matted. She was covered from head to toe in a black sticky substance, with small white worms wriggling on the surface. Black ash was smeared on her face, arms and legs. Tears rolled down the girl’s face, creating two sad lines through the grime. Leana moved closer and she saw the girl’s strange, grey, saggy skin, and the sores and scars on her body. Leana felt the pain as if it was her own, and her heart felt close to breaking. She reached out, “What is your name?” she asked. The girl took a great sniff and wiped snot and tears from her face with one grimy hand. 

“My name,” she began, “My name is ‘Poor Poppet’, my name is ‘Dirty Toad’, my name is ‘Did You Hear About Poor Jim Dolan?’, my name is ‘Alone’, it is ‘Scared’, it is ‘Ugly’, it is ‘Clumsy’, it is ‘Uncared For’. My name is ‘Abandoned Child’.” 

The girl stood suddenly and drew herself to her full height. 

“My name,” she declared, “is ‘Poor Poppet’, it is ‘Dirty Toad’, it is ‘Did You Hear About Poor Jim Dolan?’ My name is ‘Misery’, it is ‘Jealousy’, it is ‘Liar’, it is ‘Thief’, my name is ‘Wayward Child’. My name is ‘S**t’, my name is ‘The Problem’ and my other names are ‘Poor Poppet’, ‘Dirty Toad’, and ‘Did You Hear About Poor Jim Dolan?’” 

Perhaps the girl’s acute distress had come from thinking about this for a long time, or perhaps the thoughts were new and had come suddenly. Either way, she collapsed on the ground, distraught and exhausted from the effort. She hugged her knees to her chest and moaned. 

Again, Leana felt the pain cutting though her own belly like a knife. She held out her hands, turning them towards the sky, as if to receive whatever blessings were available to help. She closed her eyes. “No!” she said, “No, that is not your name. You are Wounded Child, and you bring great gifts, and I think I know why you are here.” 

The girl looked at Leana through murky layers of shame and pain. Leana continued, “The magic of Black Annis is for you, Wounded Child. Only you can go back and make the wrong that was done right again. Only you can sing the song that will restore us to wholeness.” 

“Please come” said Leana, “Please come and let me show you. I will shine my light through the darkness”. 

Wounded Child looked at Leana, and something in her shifted a little. It had been such a very long time since she had seen anyone. Helen, and even Teddy, were long gone and she had almost forgotten the pain of her abandonment, masked as it was by more recent layers of physical and mental pain. She rose to her feet again, feeling heavy with filth and sadness, but noting within her a tiny glimmer of hope. Leana reached for the older girl’s hand, but Wounded Child snatched it away. 

“It’s dirty!” she said “Please do not touch me. You will ruin your pretty hand, and your pretty white dress.” 

“It’s beautiful!” retorted Leana. “It’s a fine hand, and I would like to hold it. It is perfect as it is, for it is exactly as it is meant to be.” 

Wounded Child was startled by this. Nobody had touched her for such a long time, and the few stragglers that had come by had either fearfully avoided her, or they had abused her, because of the filth that surrounded her very being. Leana smiled, extending her hand again. 

“Come lovely child, hold my hand.” 

Wounded Child moved her hand forward ever so slightly, and then thrust it into Leana’s before she changed her mind. When their hands joined, the feeling was electric. The warmth, the love, the light that flowed silently from one girl to the other through their united hands. And oh! The understanding! The understanding and the knowing and the feeling that the two shared, as if they were a single entity. 

“Come, Precious Wounded Child.” said Leana, and Wounded Child wondered how it could be that this very young child seemed to have such wisdom and compassion. 

By the time they reached the entrance to Black Annis’ cave, both children were feeling strengthened by their bond, and by the presence of the other. Leana spoke, 

“This magic is for you, dear Wounded Child.” 

“You need to know that your task will not be easy, but I promise you that I will be waiting right here for you. I promise you that I will not move until I see you again.” 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Helen . . . I have to tell you the truth . . . I am not ready to dive head-first into 19 chapters of this kind of touchy-feelie, new-agey, imaginary spirit-guided whatever. This chapter starts to show a little forward-oriented action, but it's still largely a cerebral piece. I prefer stories where the storyline is dynamic & more compelling. But I must commend you on making this as UNLIKE a healing journey as can be. I love your creativity, your outside-the-dots thinking, & your symbolism is very strong. Lots of writers pour out their "stuff" here about healing issues, but I've never seen anyone make a messy past history into a well-crafted story. This is the crux of turning pain into art (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

I'm putting this in my reading library & I might get to more of it later . . .

[Helen]

Thank you Margie. I think that I am unlikely to write a dynamic and compelling story because I am much more comfortable floating around in other-worldy places! I guess some people have the skill to combine the two, but perhaps not me. The story 'wrote itself' while I was processing some of the traumatic events from my childhood. I like the story, but sensed that it might only be of interest to me because it is so personal. I think your review suggests that its appeal is limited and I am happy with that because I kind of knew that all along really. I'm very grateful for the time you spent reading and reviewing.

[Coyote Poetry]

I love how you make every scene alive and strong to the reader. I liked the meeting of the new character. I loved how you used the language. Thank you dear Helen for sharing the amazing chapter.
Coyote

[Ayvid N]

You did such a great job of depicting the hurt and pain of the wounded child. I loved this line, "Again, Leana felt the pain cutting though her own belly like a knife" It communicated their oneness very well. I got slightly confused at the point where it says 'Helen and even Teddy were long gone'. Did I miss something...? Or it will be cleared for me in the coming chapters. I'm looking forward to them anyway. Once again, I felt the unconditional love flowing through your words. Something that perhaps only we can give ourselves.

[Helen]

She is me and it is my pain. I love this chapter because it is the first time that Wounded Child was allowed to speak and she did so eloquently! I feel emotional that you have read it and heard her too so a deep heartfelt thank you for that.

I think that Helen and Teddy will become clearer so I won't explain at this point.

This whole book is symbolic of the giving to myself of unconditional love since I was very much in need of it.

Thank you for seeing and validating me.

[Ayvid N]

I'll be looking forward to reading this book and your journey with yourself. And I must thank you too for sharing it. I'm learning so much about myself. It may be influencing me more than any other story I've read.
I'll return soon.....