Chapter Fourteen- Darin's View

After I stepped out of the shower, I put myself into bed, but Ijust couldn't bring myself to go to sleep. Nothing, but thoughts ofJessica going through my head. Wonder if she can see me havingtrouble going to sleep? May be she'll make an appearance. I want tosee her one last time, before the night ends. I turn to turn the lampoff and turn on my side and try to fall asleep, but couldn't. I feltsomething touch my foot, so I moved it. Then, I hear the sheetsrattling, like someone was sitting on the bed, beside me. I saw thesheets sinking into the bed and I believe that my wish was comingtrue. She was here. To see me, " Is that you Jessica?" I asked.

 " Yes," she made herself known, " I'm here, because I saw youstruggling trying to go to sleep. Where you?" 

" Was I what?" 

" Where you struggling to go to sleep?" 

" Yeah. I can't stop thinking about you, baby. I just want you backmore than anything. I'm not saying I don't take you being here for anadvantage, because baby I do. I love you. I just miss you actuallybeing here. Waking up and you're not there. I don't know if I canhandle it. I really don't," I explained. As she laid her head on thepillow, we looked each other in the eyes, " Just keep thinking I'mstill here, because I am. I just come in and out to see you. Let's justsay when I'm not here, I'm looking out for you. I'm looking over you.Protecting you." 

" But I'm the one that's supposed to be watching over you andprotecting you," That's going to be a problem with Ms. Linely,tomorrow. How am I going to tell this to her, without Jessica findingout?

 " I know. That's all you ever wanted. To protect me. I know."

 " What is my future going to be like now? How am I supposed tolive after I've been with you for about four years? I just don't know." 

 " Don't know about what?"

 " Nothing." 

 "No there's something you need to tell me. What is it? I know thatface, Daren," she pointed out. That was right. She knew everythingabout me, " The wedding. What about the wedding?" 

 " What about it?"

 " I still want one." 

" What, Daren?" 

She was acting like I fooling her or something, but I was dead serious, " I still want to have the wedding. Are you going to stop me frommarrying you?"

 "Well no, but how are we supposed to have a wedding?"

 " Well how we were planning it, before you...you know passed."

 " No body is going to believe that you want to marry me. I'm deadin their eyes."

 " They're not marrying you, I am."

 " But you want to have a wedding?"

 " Yes. What's wrong with that?"

 " Nothing, are you serious? I mean a wedding has to have the guestand everything. People are going to think that your weird orsomething. Crazy," I pointed out. 

" So, you don't want me to have a wedding?"

 " No, not really. Not just for my sake, but for your sake of notgetting embarrassed. Please listen to me."

 " Alright fine. Just because I love you,"I laid straight on my backand looked up at the ceiling, " So, I should be expecting you toleave, huh?" 

" What if I told you I'll stay here with you, till you fall asleep,because I hate seeing you lose sleep," she touched my hand andgrabbed onto it.

 " You will?"

 " Yeah. And just maybe I'll have your daily coffee ready for you inthe morning," Now, that was what I was wanting to hear.

 "Okay, I like the sound of that."

 " Baby, I don't want you to feel like I'm not here. I don't want you tolive your life differently, because of my death, I don't. I want you tolive exactly how your life was, before I died. I don't want nothingworse for you, I want the better for you."

 " Well then I have the best idea," I exclaimed. Why not still live likeshe's living? Why not go along with how our life was? Like nothingever happened, " Oh' Lord. What?" 

 " That we live our lives how we did everyday, before you passed.Everything the same. Nothing different."

 " Really?"

 " Yeah."

 " Okay. We can try it out. Now, baby you've been up too long now.You have a work day ahead of you. Go to sleep," she ordered me todo. I did as she said, because I was finally relaxed. I was finally ableto fall asleep. Ready for tomorrow not knowing what's really goingto happen. But I do have something to look forward to. My dailycoffee.