Chapter Thirteen- My View

When Daren got out of the shower he jumped into bed and Icould tell by the tossing and turning in the bed that he was having ahard time sleeping. So, I thought I would pay him a visit, to maybesettle his nerves. I stood at the end of the bed and just stared at him. Itouched the comforter, where his foot was laying and touched itgently. He squirmed away and then I went to what was my side ofthe bed and sat down. He could feel the bed moving of someonesitting there. He reached over to the lamp that was sitting on thebedside table and flipped the switch on. He turned back to where Iwas sitting and he saw the outline of the body on the sheets of whereI was at. " Is that you Jessica?" he asked. 

 " Yes," I made myself known, " I'm here, because I saw youstruggling trying to go to sleep. Where you?" 

" Was I what?" 

" Where you struggling to go to sleep?"

 " Yeah. I can't stop thinking about you, baby. I just want you backmore than anything. I'm not saying I don't take you being here for anadvantage, because baby I do. I love you. I just miss you actuallybeing here. Waking up and you're not there. I don't know if I canhandle it. I really don't," he explained.

 I laid my head on the pillowand we looked each other in the eyes, " Just keep thinking I'm stillhere, because I am. I just come in and out to see you. Let's just saywhen I'm not here, I'm looking out for you. I'm looking over you.Protecting you."

 " But I'm the one that's supposed to be watching over you andprotecting you." 

" I know. That's all you ever wanted. To protect me. I know."

 " What is my future going to be like now? How am I supposed tolive after I've been with you for about four years? I just don't know."

 " Don't know about what?"

 " Nothing."

 "No there's something you need to tell me. What is it? I know thatface, Darin," I pointed out.

 " The wedding. What about the wedding?"

 " What about it?"

 " I still want one."

 " What, Darin?" 

" I still want to have the wedding. Are you going to stop me frommarrying you?"

 "Well no, but how are we supposed to have a wedding?"

 " Well how we were planning it, before you...you know passed." 

 " No body is going to believe that you want to marry me. I'm deadin their eyes."

 " They're not marrying you, I am."

 " But you want to have a wedding?" 

 " Yes. What's wrong with that?"

 " Nothing, are you serious? I mean a wedding has to have the guestand everything. People are going to think that your weird orsomething. Crazy," I pointed out. 

" So, you don't want me to have a wedding?"

 " No, not really. Not just for my sake, but for your sake of notgetting embarrassed. Please listen to me." 

" Alright fine. Just because I love you," he laid straight on his backand looked up at the ceiling, " So, I should be expecting you toleave, huh?" 

" What if I told you I'll stay here with you, till you fall asleep,because I hate seeing you lose sleep," I touched his hand andgrabbed onto it. 

 " You will?" 

 " Yeah. And just maybe I'll have your daily coffee ready for you inthe morning," I suggested.

 "Okay, I like the sound of that." 

 " Baby, I don't want you to feel like I'm not here. I don't want you tolive your life differently, because of my death, I don't. I want you tolive exactly how your life was, before I died. I don't want nothingworse for you, I want the better for you," I really did. I didn't wanthim to change his life over me. I know it's going to be different anddifficult for him, because I'm not there. 

" Well then I have the best idea," he exclaimed. 

" Oh' Lord. What?"

 " That we live our lives how we did everyday, before you passed.Everything the same. Nothing different." 

" Really?"

 " Yeah."

 " Okay. We can try it out. Now, baby you've been up too long now.You have a work day ahead of you. Go to sleep," I ordered. I satthere the rest of the night watching him sleep, peacefully. He lookedso sweet. So innocent. After I knew he was asleep, deep into hisdreams, I slowly drifted off into the thin air.