Chapter Eight

We ended up laying in my bed upstairs, drowning ourselves in the comforters. Me laying my head on his chest and him rubbing his hands on my skin. I looked up at him, “I can’t believe that I did this,” I told him.

“ What are talking about?”

“ Look, I have a boyfriend alright, but he lives all the way in New York and I just took him back to the airport a couple of days ago. My life right now is just a mess and I believe I just put you in the middle of it all. You can’t be with me,” I warned him, “I can’t see two guys at once. That’s not right.”

“ Both of us didn’t know that this was going to happen,” he said. I got up from the comfortable position I was laying in and covered the comforter over my bare breasts. I faced back to him,

“ I’m sure that we both wanted this, but I can’t have you. Look, I don’t even know your name and I just met you,” I pointed out.

“ Well, one my name is Josh and two right when I first saw you, I fell with love with you.”

“ You don’t want me, Josh. You can’t. I mean there’s no way. Plus, I’ve probably put you in danger now, because you helped me out and since they know that I’m out, and you’re not at the house and you  were the first one in there with me, yeah don’t think that they’re not gonna come after you,” I said.

“ You think I’m scared of them? If I was scared of them, I wouldn’t have tried to get you out of there in the first place,” he mentioned, “I don’t care if they come after me, just as long as they don’t come after you or if they don’t know where you live,” he said.  “Why do you care so much, though?”

“ Because I don’t want you getting hurt.”

I shook my head. I guess this guy really does like me. Or he really does love me. I mean I’ve never really believed in love at first sight. It always took me awhile to gain feelings for a guy, but for this guy, for Josh my emotions feel different. They feel like they’re strong. “So, you want me to go now?” he asked, confused. He got up from the bed and placed his shirt and pants on his body. I got up and put a t-shirt on over my body. I ran and went over to him and stopped him, “I don’t want you to go,” and I didn’t. I wanted him to stay here and protect me. To hold me when I’m feeling lonely. To kiss me when I wanted to feel loved, “ I don’t want you to leave. I want you here,” I pleaded.

“ Why? Why do you want me here?”

“ When you kissed me, I felt loved. I felt wanted,” I started crying, because they way that I had really felt was finally kicking in. Was I wanting him more than Jake? Was I really falling hard for this guy?

“The thing is I don’t want to get in between the relationship of you and this guy, Jake. You know what I’m saying?” he laid his hand on my shoulder, to help me understand.

“ But I want you, Josh. You,” I said.

“I’m going to go and hopefully this will give you some time to think about what you really want.”

“ Why are you being like this, after you said you wanted me to?” I was confused. Was he just saying all that to get me in bed, like he wanted. Even though he straight up said that he doesn’t see me like BJ and Devin see me, he’s see more than that. I guess I was being played as a fool, huh? “You know what? Fine, go,” I suggested. He walked past me with hate and I could hear the front door slam behind him.