Breaking Free

My eyes have been closed for so long, yet I remain fully awake. As soon as I can tell that the monster is locked inside the closet of dreams, I slowly push the chains off my body, and use the little bit of strength I have left, to lift my body up.

I turn around to see if I have caused the clouds to turn grey, thunder to strike, but the sky remains calm and peaceful, just as I remember it, a long time ago.

Every step towards the door felt so heavy, like cinder blocks tired around my ankles. Touching the door felt like touching hot iron, leaving blisters on my fingertips.

But, I pushed through the pain. 

I had to.

I walked through the long corridors, wondering if I should pay attention to their details. 

The colorful paintings...

The deceitful family photos of us, him, in another time, perhaps even another life. 

The faint blood stains, and cracks in the wall, from the time when I didn't listen.

This night would be the last time I would see them, should I try to burn them into my mind?

No.

I don't have to. Nothing in this would could ever make me forget this place... ever.

Time is so cruel, it passes by slowly.

I finally make it to the one place that I held dear in my heart. The one room, experience, memory that he could never tear away from me.

My love. My precious. My treasure that I spend months bringing to live.

I reached down with my broken hands, and wrapped my treasure up in a soft blanket, being careful not shake it from its sweet dreams. I held my love in my hands, and looked at it-

my greatest blessing, and the biggest curse, 

with only love and adoration in my eyes.

...

I wouldn't change a thing.

I quickly made my way out of my safety net, and back into the common nightmare. I was so close. I could see the gates to my freedom, our freedom, from far away. The idea of getting away from my captor proved so delicious, that I started to not care about the noise I was making, as I quickly ran across the dungeon, and reached for the door handle that would lead me outside, to a life of love and happiness.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I froze.

...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no-

I closed my eyes, allowing the tears that were previously sitting there, to slowly fall and burn my cheeks. 

I failed. 

Again. 

Of course I did.

Did I really think it was going to be this easy?

How stupid could I be?

I turned around, knowing it's better to face him, than to cower away. He was leaning against the door frame, with his hands crossed, and a smug look on his face.

It's like he thought it was funny. Like he was toying with me. Waiting for the time I screwed up, just so he could have an excuse THIS TIME to punish me.

To hurt me.

To break me.

I opened my mouth, to say something, anything, but nothing would come out. Each step he took towards me represented each type of apology I was going to give him. My mind was already filling with exactly what I would do.

Pleading, begging on my knees, cooking him food, sex...

I knew it wouldn't be enough - could never be enough, but I was desperate.

He took my treasure from my hands, and gave it a gentle kiss. At least that was the only thing I could count on. Whatever I did, I would be the one getting punished.

Good.

I wrapped my hands around my dirty skin, and broken bones, and started sobbing, quietly. He disappeared with my treasure, probably putting it back into my safe haven, whilst I waited patiently for him to come back.

Running from punishment was never an option. I knew that.

I knew...

But, when I saw him come back, with that deadly look in his eyes, and a baseball bat in his hand, I couldn't help myself.

I RAN.

It was stupid, and only made things so much worse. I felt the wood make contact with my back, and I cried out in pain. A pain I was very familiar with. My body dropped onto the ground, feeling like all of its strength was suddenly gone. I landed on my hands and knees. I wanted to crawl away from him, but another hit from the baseball bat slammed me down, to the point where I couldn't even move an inch of my body. All I could do was lay there. Lay there, and try to stop myself from crying out loud in pain. 

He didn't like it when I was too loud.

I was forcefully grabbed by the arm, and then turned around, so I could lay on my bruised back, and face him. He gently removed the hair away from my face, and then ran his hand down towards my neck. He straddled my body, and then moved his head close to my face.

"You can never leave me." He said it so calm, like it was just a fact. "Ever..."

Then, before I knew it, both of his hands suddenly latched themselves onto my neck, and squeezed. My eyes widened, and my hands suddenly found the strength to place themselves on top of his. Although, it didn't matter. No matter how much I struggled, how badly I tried to get away, he possessed the strength which I lacked.

And, could never have.

I couldn't breath, I felt dizzy, and everything was starting to lose color. My eyes shutting down on their own, and my mind going blank, was my sign of defeat. Of being defeated by him.

I lost.

...

The sun was shinning, and I found myself chained back into my bed, but alone this time. I looked around panicked, wondering how I found myself back there again. 

But, then I realized it didn't matter, because the sound of my treasure crying was enough to make me forget everything that was happening inside my head. 

I had a sudden burst of energy. 

I leaped out of my bed, and ran towards my safe haven. I opened the doors to see my love standing up in his crib, with grabby hands reaching towards me. I picked him up, and started bouncing him on my hip. I shushed him, telling him that everything was going to be okay. After a few seconds, his crying slowly became more quiet, until he stopped crying all together. However, just as he stopped, I started.

I saw myself in the full body mirror, which was hanging on the wall, on my left. Seeing myself, how my body looked, the bruises that were covering me, old and new, made my body shake, and my breath stop. No matter how many times I have already seen myself like this, I will never get used to it.

I took a deep breath, and then looked into my treasures eyes. "Happy Birthday, my love." I hugged him, and starting rocking our bodies together back, and forth.

I am so sorry that you have to see me like this. I tried to give you the best present I could possibly give you, but I failed. I failed, and I am sorry.

But, I promise you, that eventually, I will give it to you. When I'm strong enough.

I promise.

Reviews

[LauraEmilie]

I like your way of telling us something indirectly, ex. "locked inside the closet of dreams" i.e he's asleep. In the start the POV also tells us there was a time when things were good, perhaps when they were just getting into the relationship. I can't help but think of the opening to The Invisible Man which actually helped me understand the chains in the start were monster's arms. I see some minor spelling errors here and there but it's nothing that breaks the emersion.
All in all you do a great job of telling a story through a victims eyes.

[CherryEllie]

Thank you. I appreciate it.