[untitled]

A moment during my weaker times, questioning freindships with my first year floormates. How Wrong I was to be :)

I miss the carefree times, and the judgementless whiles we used to away.

I want to be him again, that boy i left behind, before i lost my confidence,

i feel so small, and i am all filled with nausea, i don't know what to say,

and concrete sense your sense does make, whilst i am being completey without sense.

to me my words are stone however, i don't want the embarrasment, i don't want to be shunned,

your rationale makes me irrational, yet my rationale feels rational, so how can i believe you.

they don't want to like me. i KNOW it, i can't seem to get to the top, how can i when this mountain is so steep, and i am round like a marble.

I am like an insect, and you help me climb steadily up the side of my own confidence vase, reaching the brim, feeling the elation, yet slipping back down, when they do not given wings.

I hear their voices and a tempest erupts in my guts, and while you'd say they comfort, i feel they confront.

no man is an island, but i am, i feel i am surrounded by endless sandy shores, and no one can reach me, and soon the waves stop trying to wash ashore.

and this heart's attrition will be relentless, for another year, or more.