Of A Nude Beach

Can we be twilight explorers for tonight
Sift our gnarled feet thru Pacific sands

Feel serenity's salted burn

In the curvature of our soles

F**k this grinding of splintered china

Let's hang what's left 

On the redwoods

Frame the crescent forest with memory

I have all my mother's crazy

All my daddy's heart

Traverse these leathered contours

And know the synergy of my rapture

Reviews

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

I was already hooked 5 words in and I knew it was gonna be good and wow I really love this I added it to my faves.

Nice structure and 4 line stanzas

I was not expecting the 2ed verse to be so hard hitting cause the first verse was so ... soft lol but I loved every word of this I read it over 4 times

I look forward to reading more of your work

um a line just popped up in my head inspired by your poem, "I can feel poetry in the curvature of my soul"

Thank you

[Dhaye]

"Can we be twilight explorers for tonight
Sift our gnarled feet thru Pacific sands
Feel serenity's salted burn
In the curvature of our soles"

Nice one.

[Jordan's Back]

Damn This is some bad a*s Imagery :) Wonderful write!!!! And not what I expected from the title

[LJW]

I liked some of this, loved some of this, and hated some of this.

I like the picture painted in S1. Unsure about "gnarled" being the best word choice. Makes me think deformed. "leathered" would be a possible choice.

I love this:

F**k this grinding of splintered china
Let's hang what's left
On the redwoods
Frame the crescent forest with memory

S3 is not working for me on any level. The voice and perspective change too drastically and the ending 2 lines are trite and too cosmic to be attached to the previous 2 lines. Try keeping the first 2 lines of S3 and rewriting the last.

[kokoroko]

Pretty OK, less the somewhat too demonstrative and narcissistic/fatalist end. I've noticed many put verdicts more than facts and stories into poetry, but you got a story almost to the end of it and it's OK.