Java

A snapshot.

The iced coffee was chilling her nerves as she rested in a secluded corner in a dark little shop by the edge of town. Her eyes scanned the odd yet cultured-looking ambiance of murmurers sipping black-brewed tea and double espressos, nibbling on stale muffins and scones. Catching an eye partially hidden by a fold of a charcoal hat, she lightly nodded and pretended she was thoroughly enjoying the jazz music this Cafe Frappé was attempting to synchronize with its titanium stools and slashing red and brown paintings hung on the mud-colored walls. None of them would think anything of it; be she an artist or a wanderer, they were used to people rubbing red-splotched eyes and spending hours staring at their beverages. They would leave her in privacy. 

To the outsider, she was a sallow being, a yellowed leaf decaying slowly in the heat of summer, yet she sat like a silent trademark, archaic, slightly poised as if to stir a breeze. What was she waiting for?

The fragments of ice had started to melt from the warmth of her hand, clinging and sluggish, and formed a thin, watery layer at the top. Her fingers seemed permanently curled around her conservative cup; everything was always to be conservative, understated. Perhaps that was why she stopped outside this cafe frequented by the mystery of the town. Perhaps that was why the eye beneath the charcoal hat intrigued her, burned into her very soul if only for a moment. 

She took in a breath through her mouth, all bitterness and an aura of spicy pine that embodied the shop’s menu and the acuteness of its inhabitants. The scents scorched her throat, soothed it, and enflamed her tongue, just like her heart. 

Il n’y a pas de fumée sans feu. 

Author's Note

A snapshot.

*There is not smoke without fire.

Reviews

[w2de35657u687y4324rf]

I am perplexed with the idea of feeling "The scents scorched her throat, soothed it, and enflamed her tongue..."
The vivid poetry in motion displayed there is half-familiar, yet unknown, for an elegant blend of surreal, but applicable prospects.

I would guess that this "snapshot" is derived from real experience, yet I cannot help but feel as if there is an underlying message I'm not quite getting at. The estranged individual in the world that is estranged from itself, perhaps? All beings in this verse are at odds with themselves, curious about the outside world, but cannot fully admit themselves to it while in the dim light of this measured, mud colored life.
The one thing that I'm not up to beat with is the concluding phrase, which Is the "There is not smoke without fire", which is probably an allusion I'm unfamiliar with (that defines a new level of merit for it, and thus lends itself to a means of interpretation). Thus, I feel like my unveiling of this piece is pivoting off of my sphere of knowledge and being kept to one side by my ignorance.

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoy this poem. The description took me to the shop and I could vision the situations and the thoughts. The ending made the story complete. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[Lowesy]

very good use of description, i would actually say this type of description should be published, well done. I would say though, it lingered a bit, something should have happened maybe, something for the reader to get a tad bit excited about. Also, the question you ask at the end to the second paragraph seemed a bit out of place, the narrator's voice is well paced and describes the woman well, but the question was just not in keeping with the style. Good write though.

[Reaper]

great detail, interesting short story, overall great

[Robin]

I like it ! an excellent snapshot of imaginative detail . tre' fantastique !

[Lily Mae]

Oh Hayley, your words are so wonderfully descriptive I felt as if I were there as an observer.. I could feel her and had chills on my arms.. the ambiance of the cafe and her waiting and asking her own question.. "what is she waiting for?" The mystery of the eye beneath the charcoal hat.. all of it felt so mysterious and romantic.. Almost like a Bogart movie.. xo Excellent write.. as always..xo