Within Beauty

Within beauty the meadowlark

    Laments to the field of blond, 

For past a singing of the sun

    Is serenity to the sets of beyond. 

In the meadow he cries

    Upon wings of rolling distance,

For the golden ground he dwells 

    Amid heaven’s incandescence.

Within beauty the meadowlark

    Upon rolling wings flies

To the singing sets through hills beyond

    In glorious, baying skies. 

Reviews

[Derek S.Keck]

This is interesting. You create a duality between this beautiful, almost angelic scene and then contrast it with the laments of a bird. I like the term laments too, it signifies, to me, that ultimate personal suffering. I took a whole semester last spring studying the bible from a literary standpoint, and I think...it was in Psalms(maybe?)… where you had the songs of lament. There was such desperation in the laments, like a call to the father was the last rational option they had, nothing earthly could save them from their personal struggle.

This poem took me to a moment when I was sitting here, on my computer, back when the violence first broke out in Lebanon. I was on CNN.com reading an article about the uprising and all of the civilian casualties, then all of a sudden my Pandora started playing a "wonderful world" and I just got the weirdest feeling. I appreciate your poetry; you have your own voice and your own poetic eyes. I’m going to let this piece simmer in my head a while. Cheers! Happy Turkey Day!

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Each word rolled off my tongue like honey. Reading the review of Nidaba, I do believe that this young man believes in you and that you are boundless in your talent. I tend to agree but am not qualified to give any kind of poetic criticism, I can only hope that the ones who do give it, know how to teach.

[Seshat Nidaba]

Better! But not quite there yet, the first 4 lines were classical Hayley, then you go back down to muse-bitten Hayley.

But I wonder, the Hayley without "wings, laments, heavens", nay, any lovely sounding olden words! What would she look like, how would she talk, and dress and point to the new world?

Of all the poets I have read, how many could it be said are trapped in their own perfection such as thee? I feel for you, but baby steps away from comfortable lines you must take.... if only to return home agian.

[Erinne S.]

Loved this! I loved how it rolled so smoothly and painted a beautiful picture in the reader's mind. I felt as if I were actually watching the meadowlark's actions.
Great job! Such a beautiful piece :)

~Erinne