Gold

Now that the sun has caressed roots of my trees

Will thy flowered palms fall upon soil unearthed?

Thy fields have withered in the fruit of spring-

The seed which spread for thee alone 

Lies decaying in thine eyes of gold!

But spring does not belong in a tomb

When with fruits of her countenance the blossoms flourish,

Of the land which livens on her curling tresses

And rosebud cheeks beneath her crown of gold! 

Stand in the comfort of her leafy tendrils’ shade 

Lest the new borns’ cry keeps thee awake; 

Though thy secrets require no cradle nor soft words of mine,

Thine infantile seeds will soon be crying 

For nourishment before the season of gold!    

Author's Note

Sorry, had to get some old fashioned poetry out of my system. I promise I'm working on a more modern piece! Even still, tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Clockwork]

The sun seems to be a become which proves a hidden truth to a lover. I think it stands as a call for him to come and tend the "soil unearthed" which is the bounty that can be offered, which can grow, for she is the earth and he the sky.

I think that plea for growth and nourishment is intensified with the idea that the cornucopia of the land, the very fruits of the woman, are decaying in their places. And furthermore, the man can see this in his eyes, which are the color or supreme decadence.

On another note, I liked how you used the idea and image of gold. I think in the first stanza it is more of a physical representation of the earthly element and the quality of the male figure. However, I think that it has more of a metaphoric quality in the second stanza. It shows the royalty of spring, and helps to proclaim that she should not be entombed. In the final stanza, I think that it reenforces that growth is necessary, and even if the person the poem is directed at does not head the call, nature will cry for growth.

[Abdul Aziz]

I think everything was perfect except for the Author's Note. Why do you need to apologise for writing such poetry? There is always a certain charm associated with such words as you have used here. They enthrall and captivate the reader. I read the poem once just to savour the words, and again to understand it. Beautifully written.

[MoriartyMesa]

This could have been on the lips of someone on a wagon train in 1849

[Tim Lion]

Images set up like dominos.
Classical tone.
Sacred sounding language.
And a few humdinging oneliners really set this thing off.

I'm not usually a quoter of lines, but these knocked me sideways:
"spring does not belong in a tomb"fruits of her countenance the blossoms flourish,

Of the land which livens on her curling tresses

And rosebud cheeks beneath her crown of gold!"

"Thine infantile seeds will soon be crying"

Wonderful!
t





"

[Jack Isaac]

Hey! This poem is a puzzle. I want so badly to interpret this as about the sun, and it is for sure, yet it's not... it's about a flower, a yellow rose perhaps, with the budding fruit that follows. You are thinking of planting flowers. What an interesting read!

[Pratik]

That was a very engaging read...I don;t think that is old fashioned at all..its nice to see someone not trying not to follow the 'trends'.... the changing seasons and the challenges they bring forth have been well captured.. with that touch of 'gold'

[An owl on the moon]

This is richly moving... autumn alive and dancing over the hills... and spring's hush, calling forth a world to awaken... Beautifully painted with each chosen letter... Oh, Hayley, just let the poetry speak through you... modern voices... ancient voices... No need to apologize... all you share with us is gold, my friend...

[Moflo]

Your imagery here is phenomenal! I love it!

I love the old fashioned way of writing. You do not excuse because of this oh my...., such writings are necessary precisely, in an "modernized writers pub this is in these times..." beautifully written, and all nature is perfectly gained in the natural way like it should be, almost virgin (without getting itchy of it), for each season, translated to the love between two lovers. Where nature repeat it selves... Very nice Hayley.

[WhiteWillow]

This is a beautiful piece of work. I love the old english! The whole piece flows, every word placed just so. Nicely done.

[JRB]

its still a nice write i enjoyed the write,