Butter Rose

A lacy low on lips of summer I sighed,
As once a tender kiss breathed love,
Though on his he did not seek to satisfy,
But to proclaim me a delicate rose.
I melted at his feet and my heart throbbed his name;
He promised to water me day after day.
Why keep the miserable living
If flowers wilt in autumn all the same?

Author's Note

I'm still not too happy with it, but it'll do for now.

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

This was gorgeous!! I wonder if what is running a circus in my head right now with tones of home and delicious scents is how another may read some of MY sweeter poems!! It read to me like a Sonnet, though strange, but only because the beats would be off. It is absolutely a pretty stunner!! : ) That first line? I got about halfway through it and thought my face was buried in some famous person's poems for when i was a kid reading up on Baudelaire and Wilde. There are so many levels to wanting this poem to be selfishly directed at ME when I read this and also listening to your beautiful word choices that bounce between those of the actual rose, Love perhaps, and the process of understanding our own connection to what we ALL consider Love. "He promised to water me day after day.", says such a process for me to hear and listen and Love. I caught myself whispering before the poem was even done: "I Love You". My goodness this was sweet!! I wrote a poem called "Black Rose" that is on this site. All in alphabetical order going backwards to the highest page past the first 20 poems or so. She answered the poem and wrote me one in return and it sounds like what you have written here in a way. I am taken aback by how beautiful you are. I read words, sure, but I rarely hear the music. I want to keep whispering it. If I was silly enough not to be a fan before this, I am surely now with an incredible heart to witness of you. Wonderful job!! xoxox -Mark

WOW!!

[Hayley]

you, sir, are incredibly kind! thanks very much!

[Patrick Henry]

It's accidental..... accidentally. lol I wrote the name of your poem, here, in a notebook of my favorite poems I've read in the last 8 years or so, and there are very few of them. A Preschooler could count to such a number. : ) xo Your Butter Rose "My GOODNESS that is an incredible image to behold!!"....and my "Black Rose" should dance!! 99 times out of a hundred, I will not read what I've written in a comment box, and will not edit whilst doing so in its first instance before it is "added". Beautiful, Hayley... xox -Mark

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

I find it beautiful, maybe On lacy low lips of summer I sighed......oh I don't know. It is wonderful, so soft and delicate!

[Kiri Nells]

You should be proud of it. I don't understand what your problem with this poem is! It's fantastically simple, yet very deep and curiosity-provoking. I think it's a great piece of art! :)

[Caleb Pendleton]

aha. short, simple, sweet, not perfect but still good. this is what poets are meant to write. I like it.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem reminds me to be careful of wishing for any other's life.
It may seem like peaches and cream on the outside, but on the inside
we never know what the true story is. Elegant work.

[Lily Mae]

I think it's excellent and says a thousand words... :) xxx

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I think it is a great start, I'd like to see where you go with it.