Butter Rose

A lacy low on lips of summer I sighed,
As once a tender kiss breathed love,
Though on his he did not seek to satisfy,
But to proclaim me a delicate rose.
I melted at his feet and my heart throbbed his name;
He promised to water me day after day.
Why keep the miserable living
If flowers wilt in autumn all the same?

Author's Note

I'm still not too happy with it, but it'll do for now.

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

This was gorgeous!! I wonder if what is running a circus in my head right now with tones of home and delicious scents is how another may read some of MY sweeter poems!! It read to me like a Sonnet, though strange, but only because the beats would be off. It is absolutely a pretty stunner!! : ) That first line? I got about halfway through it and thought my face was buried in some famous person's poems for when i was a kid reading up on Baudelaire and Wilde. There are so many levels to wanting this poem to be selfishly directed at ME when I read this and also listening to your beautiful word choices that bounce between those of the actual rose, Love perhaps, and the process of understanding our own connection to what we ALL consider Love. "He promised to water me day after day.", says such a process for me to hear and listen and Love. I caught myself whispering before the poem was even done: "I Love You". My goodness this was sweet!! I wrote a poem called "Black Rose" that is on this site. All in alphabetical order going backwards to the highest page past the first 20 poems or so. She answered the poem and wrote me one in return and it sounds like what you have written here in a way. I am taken aback by how beautiful you are. I read words, sure, but I rarely hear the music. I want to keep whispering it. If I was silly enough not to be a fan before this, I am surely now with an incredible heart to witness of you. Wonderful job!! xoxox -Mark

WOW!!

[Hayley]

you, sir, are incredibly kind! thanks very much!

[Patrick Henry]

It's accidental..... accidentally. lol I wrote the name of your poem, here, in a notebook of my favorite poems I've read in the last 8 years or so, and there are very few of them. A Preschooler could count to such a number. : ) xo Your Butter Rose "My GOODNESS that is an incredible image to behold!!"....and my "Black Rose" should dance!! 99 times out of a hundred, I will not read what I've written in a comment box, and will not edit whilst doing so in its first instance before it is "added". Beautiful, Hayley... xox -Mark

[Allmax]

Butter Rose, Hayley, I sat here reading this poem thinking there is no way to express an opinion about a Rose. As a poetic work, I will list it as Freaking Awesome, as a description, it so rocked. And yet, inside the minds eye there seems to a be little heartache. Talent seeps from your pores my friend.... Allmax

[Fabian G. Franklin]

The opening line is somewhat confusing to me... I like the piece but struggled with the opening line...I could understand better (A sweet sensation on summer lips...or...a soft enchantment on summer lips...or...a taste of honey on summer lips...BUT.."a lacy low?" hmmmm....it bothers me. Hey, but I'm only one person...evidently these other folks understood your meaning perfectly. Perhaps I am only "full of high sentence but at times, a bit obtuse" to quote T.S. Eliot. Forgive my thick-headedness but I can only offer my honest and forthright opinion. It's all I WILL offer anyway. lol I'm always more interested in improving the writing than sucking up to someone's warm fuzzy feelings...I make more enemies that way! I don't intend to. I suppose besides being obtuse I might lack tact as well. Oh well, blame God or my parents or my astrological sign or whatever...it's just the way I am.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the story in the poem. It told a tale of desire that faded away. I like how you ended the poem with a question. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Derek S.Keck]

"He promised to water me day after day./Why keep the miserable living/ If flowers wilt in autumn all the same?"

My mother's artist friend would probably dub you an "old soul". You have brilliant insights into the function of life. I'm going to go a little off the mark, but what those latter lines sort of make me think of is that the promises of people are very fragile, weak, essentially mortal. People die, they move away, fall out of love, get married and divorced(the latter three not in that exact order);people are at the mercy of change, but nature is constant and unchanging and we're forced to sit at her feet no matter what anyone says.

[Antonio Valentino]

the flowers may wilt but the vines are still there and bloom again if given enough care...

really enjoyed the ending.

very impressed!
Antonio :)

[Eagle Cruagh]

Just finished another reading.
It is not that I dont understand the poems,
though I dont, it is more that I like the
sound of you and play you over and over
in my mind. You come clear in focus then
dim of sorts, until I yearn for that which
brings us close, and then it dims .
Love your poetry, love the words and all the
nuances that spring clearly in your breath .

---- Eagle Cruagh

[Chris]

This is beautiful but short. It flows gracefully, perfectly. I just wish it were slightly longer.

[BriAnna Wyble]

this is so sweet, the title is perfect. it had a lovely flow and delicateness about it that is amazing. love it.