Mistress of Man

Would you understand if you killed your man?

I shouldn't have killed him. I don't regret it, but I shouldn't have been the one to take his life away. I played God and now I am paying the price everyday for it. 

I can still smell the blood on my hands from the time dawn wakes me until the time I lay my head to sleep. Instead of seeing the rolling hills outside my kitchen window I see the look of betrayal as his life left him. Instead of feeling life around me I feel the trauma that I caused his body, I also feel the pleasure that it gave me. The worst of it all is how I still taste him. Before, I made love to him as if I would never do so again. I remember how sweet he tasted and every inch of his body. I explored it all, right before I took away everything that gave him joy. 

That whole night will forever be ingrained in my memory. I have no leave from it, it will always be there. And that is the price I pay for what I have done. You may not pity me because I have gotten away with the worst crime a human can commit. You are not me; you would not deal with the things that I would have and do deal with. You've never had the feeling of taken someone's life away. So you would not know the haunting it leaves on the soul. 

But again, I do not regret it. He had become a broken man over the many months that we spent together. For we had done the very thing that was against our culture, our teaching, and the bible itself. He was on the verge of coming clean, and with that meant certain death for the both of us. 

What is one life in the place of two? I loved him very dearly, but could I ruin my good life and good name because he had become a shadow of a man? 

I could not. I would not. 

I did what I knew to be best at the time and I would do it all over again. 

Anything to not be known as Mistress of Man. 

Author's Note

I had an idea and I ran with it.
I may expand this into an actual story.
Please, let me know what you think.