Arianna Olivia Chan

to my youngest daughter

I wasn't there when you were born
Daddy was struggling to get better
I met you six months ago
for the first time.

I missed your first steps
and your first giggle.
I missed your first word
by only a week.

Your big brown eyes stared up at me
I could tell you were afraid
who is this strange man in this strange bed?
I guess being in the hospital
with wires all attached to me
wasnt the best place to meet.

I'll let you in on a secret.
I was afraid too.
what if she doesnt like me?
What if I fail her?

But you reached out to me
with your short little one year old arms
and I held out my hand to meet yours
Your little hand in mine
so tiny, so Fragile.

Being one you don't know any better
You reached out your other hand
and touched my left eye
where the scars still Stand out

You didnt cry
or try and run away
You looked thoughtful
the way only one years olds can.
does that mean you accepted me?

I missed out on some of the important firsts
But that day with you in my arms touching my face
I promised myself

I would never miss another first again.

Author's Note

Me and my daughters mother were seperated, she was still pregnant when she left.
she told me that she didnt want a drug addict in her childs life. I didnt even
know that I was having a daughter yet.
But I guess when I got shot and it didnt look like I was going to pull through
my friends got in conntact with her and she and my daughter and stepdaughter came to see me and I got to hold my daughter for the first time.

Reviews

[A Phoenyx in Flight]

WHY DOES SISSY GET A POEM BUT NOT ME :'( Don't you Luv me toooooo?

[Hawk Flight]

I luv you more then humanly possible.