Prologue

The night air was cold and cruel, the wind blowing harshly on the woman’s back.  She was running, running as fast as her legs could carry her, the bundle in her arms becoming more and more heavy, but it didn’t seem like she would ever be fast enough.  The forest was closing in around her, and her pursuers were gaining up on her.  What was she to do?

Finally, finally she came to the ocean.  The cliff was in front of her, the water crashing far below, and on the cliff stood a tree.  The Tree.

“Please, please let him be safe,” she whispered.  The bundle quivered, and she pushed the blankets aside.  It was an egg.

Tears washed down the woman’s cheeks as she set the egg at the foot of the tree.  She lingered there, watching as it slowly started to vanish.

An arrow hit the ground by her feet.  She gasped and wiped her tears away, picking up her skirts and pulling the hood of the cloak farther over her face, running back into the dark forests.

“Where did she put the egg?  I didn’t see anything in her hand,” someone with a gruff voice said.  It was a tall man with light hair and cruel eyes, riding on the back of a horse.

“Is this the Tree?” another asked.

Another man scoffed.  “It can’t be!  That thing was torn up years ago.”

“She must still have it with her, then, follow her!” the man with the cruel eyes ordered.  They nudged their horses and continuing galloping after the woman.

Reviews

[Dini]

I think there was too much repetition in places, like

"running, running"
"finally, finally"
and "please, please"

I know you were probably trying to emphasise, but for such a short piece of writing, it was a little confusing. Also, I would replace 'cruel' with something else, because that was also mentioned around 3 times I think.