Chapter Fifteen

 “What did you get on your test, Katie?” Mike asked as he handed me a piece of pizza.  It was after school and we were at Rudy’s Pizzeria.  Again.

        “C.  Minus,” I replied as I chomped down on a huge piece of pepperoni.

        Mike gasped.  “After all that time that we spent studying?  This is unacceptable!”

        “I can’t help it!  I get nervous and choke!” I defended.

        He shook his head.  “It’s just a test.  What’s to be nervous about?”

        “Everything.”

        We glared at each other for a few minutes before he laughed.  “It’s better than you used to do.  Remember when you used to fail all of the tests?”

        I made a face.  “It’s still not much better.”

        “You got twenty percent more correct than last time!”

        Sighing, I said, “Mike, it’s a Friday.  Can we please talk about something other than Math?”

        His smile faded.  “Do you want to go see Grandpa?  He’s still in the nursing home, you know.”

        I nodded slowly.  Since he had been in a wheelchair, I hadn’t seen him.  Not even once.  I’d been too scared.  Mike and I finished eating and then jumped in his car so we could drive over.  The nursing home was by his house, by Bennett park, which was only a few blocks from the school, so it didn’t take very long to get there.  I wish it had taken longer.

        Mike opened the door for me when I hesitated to get out.  Seeing my face he took hold of my hand and gently helped me out.  I was grateful for that and the fact that he continued holding my hand until we got to the door.  Then he let go, which I did not like.  I wanted his brotherly care some more.  It felt nice.

        “Hello Michael.  Come to see your grandfather again?” an overly kind nurse asked.  Why is it that all the nurses at these places act like they’re the happiest people in the world?  It was very annoying.

        “Yes, and I brought that violinist he was telling you about?”  He was telling them about me?  Great.  Just great.

        The nurse turned to me, sort of surprised.  “You must be thankful to possess such a talent, Miss Kathryn.”

        Miss Kathryn?  “Yes, I suppose I am,” I replied in monotone.  I hadn’t planned to sound rude, but that’s what it turned out as.  I was glad when Mike took that chance to take me to Henry’s room.

        “Ah, Kathryn.  It’s so good to see you after such a long time.”  Henry was sitting on his armchair with a very warm-looking fleece tie blanket.  He was more frail than I remembered, but it had been a while.  His face was thinner and sagged more, and when he clasped my hands, his were shaking.

        “It’s nice to see you again, Henry.  How have you been?”

        “Oh, I’ve had better days.  I’m just glad that I’m here.”  He smiled, and I smiled back.  Mike was in the corner just staring at us.

        “Have you been playing the violin?”

        I laughed.  When was I not playing the violin?  “I’m finally on book ten.  I’m about halfway through it.  It won’t be long before I’ll have to find something else to play.”

        “Well, if you need to you can have your brother track down something for you.  Doesn’t he have connections?”

        “I’m not sure,” I replied.

        Henry looked at me like I was crazy.  “How can you not be sure?  He is your brother, is he not?”

        “We haven’t talked in a while.  He’s so busy in college and all that.”

        Henry shook his head.  “Well, let’s just hope that he will change soon, because I thought that you two were very close.”

        “We were before he left.”  I shrugged.  “Besides, I’d rather he do good in school than talk to me for an hour every day.  Just think about how much the phone bills would be.”

        We talked for another hour or so and then it was time for Henry to eat lunch, and I didn’t want to see him struggle to get into his wheelchair.  That would have been too much for me.  Mike could see that and he took me back to his house.

        “What would you like to do?” I asked.

        “How about study for Math?”  I groaned and he laughed evilly.

 

On Monday I was slumped in my seat.  Mike had made sure that I understood every single mistake that I had made on the test.  My teacher was in on it and had given him the answer key and my test, so basically I was screwed.  At least it was only one subject.  I could still beat him in Biology.  But still, Mafia Mike was showing and I was too tired to make him Cranberried Mike.

        Unfortunately for me, Christina noticed I was tired.  She turned around in her desk and asked, “What’s wrong?  Your boyfriend forget to call you last night?”

        “One, I don’t have a boyfriend.  Two, you guessed wrong.”  I was too tired to ignore her.

        “Oh, then what is it?  Did your mommy not make you dinner last night?  I don’t think it’s healthy to be that skinny, Kathryn.”

        I laughed, not thinking about her comment on my weight.  Actually, I wasn’t thinking at all.  “My mom couldn’t have made me dinner if she’d wanted to.”

        “Why not?  It’s her job to make food for her children.  Is she a drunk or something?”

        I snapped, though I don’t know why.  “My mom’s in the hospital.  It’s my dad that’s a drunk.”

        “Why is she in the hospital?”

        “Mental illness.”

        It took me a while to figure out why everyone was staring at me.  Then Christina said, “So that’s why you’re so weird.  You’re inheriting your parents’ bad genes.”

        I glared.  “No, I’m so weird because I have to work to pay for rent and food.  I’m so weird because my brother hasn’t called in over a month and I need him now more than ever since Dad is getting worse.  I’m so weird because I feel alone in this world because no one understands how hard it is to have a dad that gets drunk every night and a mom that’s been in the hospital for months.”

        The door closed and I looked up to find Mike staring at me.  And everyone else staring at me.  I could almost hear their thoughts. Wow.  The weirdo really is going insane.  Just like her mom.  That was too much to bear.  Forsaking my books, I jumped up and ran out the door past Mike, who just moved out of my way.

        Running, running, I ran out of the school.   Running, running, I ran down the street.  Running, running, always running.  I barely felt my heart pounding.  I barely registered that I was almost so much out of breath that soon I would be in danger of not breathing.  I just kept running, until I was a mile away from the school, at the playground.  Thankfully recess was over, and the Greenhaven Park was empty.  I ran down the little hill to the oak tree.  And that’s where I collapsed.

        I sat back against the tree, crying, barely even noticing how the snow on the ground soaked through all of my clothes and made my spine numb.  I’d blown it.  Any act of normalcy I’d had until now was worthless.  They all knew bout my family.

        I had known that Christina was pushing my buttons, but that didn’t stop me.  How could I have been so careless?  I had kept it a secret for years.  Why had I not been able to keep it in?

        I didn’t want to be seen as the girl with the crazy parents, the girl to be pitied.  It was better to be seen as “normal” in the eyes of your peers.

        It was possible, however, to attempt to restore things back to the way they were.  To explain that Dad was just a drunk trying to recover and Mom just had a mental illness but was taking her meds like a good little insane person.

        Sure.  Like that was so believable.

        I sighed.  That’s right.  Everything would be different now.

        “I don’t care, Katie.”

        His voice startled me.  I quickly dashed my tears away so I could see him clearly.  He sat down next to me, putting his big arm around me.  I felt so weak, so small next to him, so I closed my eyes and just sighed.

        “How could you not care?” I asked sourly.

        He laughed, and I could see his breath in the cold air.  “I’ve known for a long time, Katie.  I’ve grown used to the fact over the years.”

        I sucked in a sharp breath.  “How did you find out?”

        “Your brother told me.  Really, I’m his best friend.”  Mike looked me over skeptically.  “You don’t look so good.”

        I glared at him.  “I just ran a mile, and I’m not in that great of shape.”

        He patted my hair, taking on that older brother role again.  “Well, then let’s just sit here and rest.”

        And that’s exactly what we did.